Deadbeat Dad Jokes

How many deadbeat dads does it take to change a lightbulb? I wouldn't know, mine's never around.

(Alternately: "Well, he went out to get one...")

Score: 15

Communism is like a deadbeat dad. No matter how much it could potentially do, it never works.

Score: 7

Spring is like a deadbeat dad It keeps promising it'll be there, but never shows up.

Score: 5

Why do so many deadbeat dads love to play poker? It’s the only time they can call or raise anyone without feeling obligated to follow through.

Score: 5

A circle trying to convince a deadbeat dad to attend his son’s game: “Sir, come for Ence.”

Score: 3

What's the difference between a deadbeat dad and a robot? One nuts and bolts and the other is nuts and bolts.

Score: 2

What does a hardware store and a deadbeat dad have in common? Screws, nuts, and bolts.

Score: 2

Valve is like a deadbeat dad.... They both do well on creating, but suck at taking care of the offspring.

Score: 1

Sometimes I'll write the setup for a really good pun but just get bored and give up... I've been accused of being a deadbeat dad-joker.

Score: 1

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