Kid: "mommy, why am I getting Christmas presents in August?" Mother: "because it's cheaper than chemotherapy.."
My childhood crush and I are finally getting married this year! Me in August, and her in November.
A little girl asks her mom, "Why am I getting my Christmas presents in August?" Her mom replies, "Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy."
How many seconds are there in one year? 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
People ask how I'm so prepared for Christmas It's easy I had all presents wrapped and hidden in the attic since August, my girlfriend is going to love her new puppy
Everyone keeps posting about Mayweather But I'm 99% sure its August.
I celebrate Halloween in August When you show up at someone's door at night in August with a mask on, you get better stuff.
Mommy, why do I get Christmas presents in August? Mom: They are cheaper than chemotherapy.
Pride month shouldn't have been in June.
It should be in August.
After all, pride comes before the fall.
What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The August 1945 atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
I just asked my dad what his favourite part about being a teacher is... He responded with June, July, and August
Why is there gold blowing through the wind? Because it's August.
Bought some 250 million year old Himalayan salt But it expires in August.
Don't blame the holidays, you were fat in August.
What did August say when June claimed that today is the last day of the month? Don't July to me!
I bought a winter jacket at Urban Outfitters last August I got a really good deal because I bought it before it was cool.
Mum why am i getting my Christmas present in August? Because its cheaper than chemo.
What do you call a slow-learner born the beginning of August? A leotard
Mommy, why am I getting my Christmas presents in august? "Because it's cheaper than chemo"
Is today really August?
Or are Julying to me?
:)
The assassination of Julius Caesar
Caesar was famously killed on the Ides of March, but he wasn't expecting the attack until August 2. His final words embodied his dismay over the scheduling confusion:
"8/2, Brute..."
Dear Justin Bieber haters, please respect him I owe him my life. Last year August, i had been in a coma for 6 months. Then one day my nurse turned on the radio to his songs. So i woke up and turned it off..
Is it really August? Or are julying to me?
A kid asks his mom: "Mom, why am I getting a Christmas gift in August?"
The mom answers:
\- Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy.
I booked a day trip to Svalbard in April! I get back in August.
My friend just asked me why I'm wearing my sweatshirt in August I told him I'm a trendsetter, I wear sweatshirts before its cool.
What do you call a mentally challenged person born in early to mid August? A leotard.
I recently found my Journal from my trip to Europe. Allow me to share an entry.
August 30, 1997, 11:49pm - [Paris]
Woah! Princess Diana just waved and smiled at me from her car! What are the odds!
I wrote a code to find photos of the sun on August 21...
...my friend said, "Woah! Can you send it to me?"
To which I replied, "No problem. I'll just write an email to you and attach it with e-clips."
When the grass gets burned from the heat in August... ...call that lawndry.
Today is 10/10, or as the super-strict Olympic judge calls it... August 6th.