My wife said if I bought her one more stupid present, she would burn it So I bought her a candle. That showed her.
When it gets cold in Ireland, we all sit round a candle. And when it gets REALLY cold, we light it.
How do you make a candle really happy? Blow it out, it’ll be delighted.
My Girlfriend told me that if I bought her any more stupid gifts, she would burn it! So I bought her a candle!
What burns longer, a red or a green candle? Neither, they both burn shorter.
"Your dad cant hold a candle to what my daddy can do."
"Oh Ya, what does he do?"
"Makes gun powder."
My love for you is like a candle. If you ignore me I will burn your house down.
There was a fire in the aromatherapy candle factory. Things are much calmer now.
My love is like a candle If you don't blow me before bed I'll burn your house down
What do you call a fraud in a Candle factory? A Scandle.
Why couldn't the candle get any sleep? There's no rest for the wicked.
What burns longer, a red or a blue candle? Neither, they both burn shorter.
Says the emo-candle ...
Says the emo-candle to the other emo-candle:
Wanna go out with me?
What did the candle say when it couldn't sleep due to his own candlelight? There ain't no rest for the wicked
Why was the candle mad at his friend? He blew him off.
What did the Communist use to light his house before the Candle? Electricity
My apartment was starting to smell bad so I bought myself a candle. It just makes scents.
Why was the candle tired? There's no rest for the wicked!
People always wonder what got me interested in the candle business I guess it was just common scents
What did one candle say to the other Will you go out with me tonight?
Today's youth are getting worse. I was in a church yesterday, when I saw a guy lighting a cigarette from the candle. I was so shocked, that I dropped my beer bottle.
when I was growing up the winters were rough, my dad made us huddle round only a single candle. if he was feeling generous he would even light it.
Today's youth are getting worse.. Today's youth are getting worse. I was in a church yesterday, when I saw a guy lighting a cigarette from the candle. I was so shocked, that I dropped my beer bottle
This joke is like a broken candle It doesn’t make scents
If you give a man a candle he will be warm for a couple hours. If you set a man on fire he will be warm for the rest of his life.
What did one candle say to the other? You goin' out tonight?
Did you hear that Elton John is singing at Amy Winehouse's funeral reception? He will be singing "Candle Under the Spoon".
What did the little candle say to the big candle I'm going out tonight.
There's no such thing as a candle that has no smell. It just wouldn't make any scents.
I was thinking about starting an odorless candle company But I realized it wouldn't make any scents
Today's youth are getting worse Today's youth are getting worse. I saw a guy lighting a cigarette from the holy candle in the church yesterday. I was so shocked that I dropped my beer bottle.
What does a miser do when it gets cold?
He huddles around a candle.
What does he do when it gets *really* cold?
He lights the candle.
I went to a candle sale event last night. It was lit.
My ex gf was allergic to wax No-one has ever been able to hold a candle to her
A local candle shop burned down... it didnt help that everyone stood outside and sang happy birthday
Today's youth... Today’s youth are getting worse. I was in a church yesterday, when i saw a guy lightning a cigarette from the candle. I was so shocked, that i dropped my beer bottle.
what is some thing you can say at a strip club and a candle shop may i sniff the merchandise before i buy it