I’m a magician of sorts. I steal candy bars using sleight of hand. You could say I have a few Twix up my sleeve.
When I was a kid, you could walk into a gas station with a $1 bill and leave with a bag of chips, a candy bar, and a coke. Now, they have cameras everywhere.
Billy has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now?
Diabetes.
Billy has diabetes.
Successfully ran away from the cops today, after I stole a candy bar They tried their best, but I had too many Twix up my sleeve.
If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does John have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.
If you have 13 candy bars and John eats 9, what does John have? Type 2 diabetes
What’s a feminists favorite candy bar? Hershey
I remember when was a kid I could go to the store with $1 and come home with 3 bags of chips 2 candy bars 6 packs of starburst and a cold drink. Nowadays they have cameras everywhere
In the 1990's, you could go into any store with just a dollar and get a soda, a bag of chips, and a candy bar. Now you can't. Why? Because there's cameras everywhere now
Jimmy has 36 candy bars, and he eats 28. What does Jimmy have?
Diabetes.
Jimmy has diabetes.
Back In my day you could go to a convince store with a dollar and come back with some chips and 3 candy bars Now they have cameras
How does a candy bar laugh? It snickers
If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45 of them what does John have? Diabetes. John had diabetes.
Today my girlfriend asked me; if I was a candy bar, which candy bar would I be? I said "Big Hunk. Because not many people like me, especially when they're not expecting my nuts in their mouth"
What's the best part about being an orphan? All your chips and candy bars are family sized.
I'm considering stuffing my clothes with candy bars. That way, I'll always have Twix up my sleeve.
What's a Mexican's favorite candy bar? A payday
Andy has 150 candy bars. He eats 125. What does Andy have now? Andy has diabetes
I like my women how I like my candy bars... with nuts
What is ISIS's favorite candy bar? Allahu Snackbar, it's flavor is explosive.
I remember back in the day I use to go to the store with $2 and come back with 2 bags of chips, 3 candy bars, a pack of starbursts, and a soda... But nowadays they have cameras everywhere
Guy puts candy bar in shirt His dad always said to keep Twix up your sleeve.
Jim has 125 candy bars. He eats 76 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. Jim has diabetes
Dog and a Candy Bar
How is a dog before he goes into the vet like a Snickers, and after he comes out of the vet like a Milky Way?
They are both the same, just without the nuts.
Why did the magician with a speech impediment buy a candy bar? Because he wanted to have a few Twix up his sleeve.
Back when I was a kid I could go into the store with a dollar and come out with 3 candy bars, a bag of chips and maybe a bottle of pop! But now days they have cameras !!
Ron has 36 candy bars and he eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes.
I remember a time where you could walk into the gas station with a quarter and leave with a candy bar and a coke. Now there are cameras everywhere.
What's a mathematician's favorite candy bar? *N* Musketeers, where *N* = 3!
Teacher: class let’s do math.
Teacher: so bob has 25 candy bars he eats 10. What does bob have
Student: 15 CANDY BARS
Teacher: no bob has diabetes.
What's a nymphomaniac's favorite candy bar? Almond joy.
What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters? This is non-cents!
If I had a grand for the amount of candy bars I got during this Halloween I'd have... 100 grand
When I was a kid, you could go to the store with $1 and leave with a can of pop, 2 candy bars, a bag of chips and some caramel squares.... Nowadays, they have cameras everywhere.
Why is Chris Christie so sad? Drugs are becoming cheaper than candy bars.
what's a blind persons favorite candy bar? Reese's