What did the pirate name his pet clam? Michelle
Sure, Aphrodite poses naked in a giant clam shell, she's a goddess. But when I do it, I'm ''drunk' and 'no longer welcome at the aquarium'.
What did one ocean say to the other
Nothing they just waved.
Did you sea what I did there?
Are you shore that you get it?
Maybe I didn't shell you the joke.
I think you need to clam down.
Woah, stop being such a beach.
Whale then, that's all the puns I have today.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin? It had excellent mussel memory.
Did you hear what happened when the chef accidentally added yeast to his clam chowder instead of flour? By the time he found out it was quite a soup-rise.
I have a question about tampons Do they call it Tampax Pearl because it goes in their clam?
A man got a job in Ireland...
A man got a job in Ireland. His wife was upset, because they would have to move.
The day before they were to leave, she asked him,
"Are you sure about this?"
He tried to clam her down, saying
"Relax, honey. It's only Tipperary."
My girlfriend fell off a fishing boat just off the coast of Maine and was devoured by a giant shellfish. You might say a New England clam chowed her.
How is it "the world is your oyster"? When I'm always chasing that clam
What do you call a clam that lifts? A hoyster
...it's like what the mussel said to the clam... “I wouldn't wish that on an anemone!"
How do shellfish get high? At a clam bake
Why did the clam get dumped? Because he was shellfish!
Did you know that tornadoes can displace shellfish?
Apparently the locals in danger areas are able to identify oncoming bad weather due to the shellfish preceding it.
They call it the clam before the storm.
Last time I went fishing I caught some sort of clam and got hurt, but I don't quite remember the rest of the day. All I really know is that I pulled a mussel
Why did the clam get in an accident? He was talking on his shellphone.
What did the clam say when a crab attacked him? Kelp!
What do you call a greedy clam? My Ex-Wife.
I've never dated a clam but i have pulled a few mussels
What do you call a timid Canadian shellfish? A cool clux clam.
What is a lesbians favorite kind of soup? Clam chowder
I went to Boston and ate some chowder last Thursday. It was the clam before the storm.
What's the difference between a clam fisherman with epilepsy and a prostitue with diarrhea? One shucks while having fits.
Why was the clam limping on Monday morning? Because he went clubbing at the weekend and pulled a mussel.
Why was the fish and his crew so scared of the clam's crew? Because they were nothing but mussel.
Why did the shrimp and the clam get a divorce? They were two shellfish.
What do you call two shellfish causing accidents? Clam-ities
What did the teenage clam do when he saw an oyster? He clummed in his pants.