Cpr Jokes

Getting drunk at the bar the other night when the bar tender yelled out "Does anyone here know CPR?" I was feeling pretty good so i yelled back "I do, in fact i know the whole alphabet!" Everybody in the entire bar laughed..........except for one guy.

Score: 1828

I was at a restaurant.... and the the waitress yelled "Does anyone know CPR?!".
I replied "I actually know the whole alphabet."
Everyone laughed except for this one guy.

Score: 734
Funny Cpr Jokes
Score: 331

I was in a bar last night when a waitress screamed... "Does anyone know CPR?"
"I know all the letters of the alphabet" I shouted back.
Everyone laughed.........well except this one guy.

Score: 256

I was at a bar the other day, when all of a sudden, the bartender yelled... "Does anyone know CPR!?"

I yelled back, "I know the whole alphabet!" and everyone laughed and laughed and laughed.

Well, except for this one guy.

Score: 242

Was sitting at a bar drinking a margarita when... a waitress yelled "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled back "I know the whole alphabet!" And we just laughed and laughed and laughed.....well except for one guy.

Score: 124

I walk into a bar... ... And the waitress runs up to me and says. Please tell me you know CPR. I said, "LADY! not only that I know the whole alphabet". The whole bar was laughing, all except one guy...

Score: 118

I was sitting in a diner waiting order, when I hear, "Does anyone know CPR?"

I said, "I know the entire alphabet!"

We all laughed and laughed...except one guy.

Score: 99

At what point does CPR become necrophilia? When you both get hard.

Score: 95

A man stopped breathing today at a bar... A lady then screamed out "ANYBODY KNOW CPR"
I yelled back. "I know the whole damm alphabet!"
Everyone Laughed... Well except 1 guy...

Score: 76

I was drinking a margarita at the bar.... And a woman screamed "Does anyone know CPR?!"
I replied that i knew the whole alphabet, we laughed and laughed.....well except for one guy.

Score: 47

I was at a bar the other day .. when all of a sudden, the bartender yelled, "ANYONE KNOWS CPR?"
I yelled back, "I KNOW THE ENTIRE ALPHABET", and everyone laughed and laughed and laughed.

Well, except for this one guy.

Score: 24

My dad always believed in learning things by doing them. So when I was a kid, he threw me in the lake...

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So that he could teach himself CPR

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Credit: Anthony Jeselnik

Score: 19

A man was having a heart attack at a bar When a patron yelled out, "Does anyone know CPR", the place went silent, then a drunk at the back yelled out "I do... I even know the whole alphabet". Everybody laughed. Well except for this one guy.

Score: 17

At what point does CPR become necrophilia? When you're both stiff

Score: 15

I was in a restaurant when... A man asked 'Who knows CPR?'

And I said, 'I know all the letters of the alphabet!'

And we all laughed,

And laughed,

And laughed,

Except one guy

Score: 13

I was at a bar the other day, when all of a sudden, the bartender yelled, "DOES ANYONE KNOW CPR!?" I shouted back, "HECK, I KNOW THE ENTIRE ALPHABET!" and everyone laughed and laughed and laughed... Well, everyone except this one guy...

Score: 9

I’ve performed CPR on a dummy before My brother was choking and I saved his life

Score: 8

At what point... At what point does CPR become necrophilia?

Heh.

Heh.


When you're both stiff.

First post here :D

Score: 6

I was at a crowded bar the other day When a man fell down and stopped breathing.

The waitress yelled out “does anybody know CPR?”

I yelled back “I do! I know the entire alphabet!”

We all laughed and laughed. Well, except for that one guy.

Score: 6

So i was at this bar And the bar tender yelled "Does anyone know CPR!?" I yelled back "Yeah I do, and I know the rest of the alphabet too!" Everybody in the bar laughed....Except one guy.

Score: 5

I was at a restaurant with my wife when a waitress suddenly screamed, "Does anyone know CPR??" I shouted, "Even better, I know the whole alphabet!"

Everyone laughed...

Well, everyone except this one guy.

Score: 5

When does CPR become Necrophlia? When tongue is involved.

Score: 4

You are now not supposed to give breaths while doing CPR Because of inflation

Score: 3

Taking that CPR class before Highschool... Led me to believe that choking and strokes would have occurred more often that I thought.

Score: 2

Plunging... ...is like performing CPR on your toilet.

Score: 2

I was drinking a margarita when a guy stood up and asked, "Does anyone here know CPR?" Someone else stood up and said, "Yeah, I know the whole alphabet."

We all laughed and laughed and laughed... well, except this one guy.

Score: 2

How 'done' do you want your burger? I can do "well-done" all the way to "CPR might actually work."

Score: 2

ANYONE KNOWS CPR? I was at a bar the other day when all of a sudden, the bartender yelled, "ANYONE KNOWS CPR?"

I yelled back, "I KNOW THE ENTIRE ALPHABET", and everyone laughed and laughed and laughed.

Well, except for this one guy.

Score: 2

Facebook is promising to protect users from data misuse. Meanwhile, Darth Vader is teaching CPR.

Score: 2

Facebook has promised to protect users from future data misuse. Meanwhile, Darth Vader is teaching CPR.

Score: 1

North Korean doctors when giving their leader a CPR be like : Kim Jong Un.. *Dos.. Tres...*

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