My wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She's at the ER now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.
Please pray for my wife....
A spider bit her on the forehead and she is now in the E.R. They said she almost died.
Lucky for her, I was near and hit the spider as hard as I could with a bat right when it bit her.
I just got punched by my friend for trying to kiss his new baby on the forehead. Apparently, I have to wait for the baby to be born first.
My wife got stung by a bee on her forehead. She’s at the ER now and her face is all swollen and bruised. She almost died! Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.
I bought my wife a mood ring.
Found out if she's in a good mood it turns green.
If she's in a bad mood it leaves big red circles on my forehead.
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I was on a first date last night.
We were at a bar and when i looked at her i couldn't believe how beautiful she was. I started to go weak at the knees and sweat all over my forehead.
It was only then i realised, that i drugged the wrong drink.
One time my math professor asked everyone in class to write a complex number on their forehead You could probably imagine the expressions on our faces
My girlfriend got a tattoo of a conch shell on her inner thigh...
Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the ocean.
If I lie there long enough, I get crabs on my forehead.
My wife has this mood ring... It turns green when she's happy, blue when she's calm, and when she's angry it leaves a big red mark right on my forehead.
A "your mama” joke for the books. Your mama is so stupid she puts lipstick on her forehead... Just to make up her mind.
Why did the blonde have makeup on her forehead?
I told her to make up her mind.
* **EDIT*** Thanks to **diosmuerteborracho** for the suggestion
* Why did the blonde have lipstick on her forehead?
* I told her to make up her mind.
Mood ring
Bought my girlfriend a mood ring the other day.
When she's in a good mood it turns green.
When she's in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on my forehead.
My girlfriend got me a mood ring the other day but it didn't come with instructions. So far we know that if I'm in a good mood, it's green... and if I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on her forehead.
When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring...
When she was in a good mood, it turned blue.
When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead...
Patient: “Doc, it hurts when I touch here (taps forehead), here (taps nose), here (taps chin), pretty much everywhere.” Doctor: “You have a broken finger.”
A father named his sons Rose and Fridge One day Rose asked his dad:- why did you call me like that? Her father answered that when she was born a rose petal fell on her forehead. Then fridge came and asked his father: BLUAEHHUEHUEHAWHAW?
She was so blonde... she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
What's the worst part of eating rabbit? Their little legs kicking you in the forehead.
Mood ring I got my wife a mood ring. When she's in a good mood it turns a beautiful shade of blue. When she's in a bad mood it leaves an ugly red mark on my forehead.
why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead? She wanted to make up her mind.
I bumped into Thanos and laughed really hard at the size of his chin and forehead... He snapped
My wife got me a mood ring...
When I'm in a good mood it turns blue.
When I'm angry it leaves a huge red mark on her forehead.
How do you blow up an Indian ? Press the red button on their forehead.
The Indian lady on the train.
Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes and stopped breathing.
I thought she was dead until I saw the red spot on her forehead, and realised she was just on standby.
Forehead wrinkles. They're making headlines.
What's the difference between Gordon Ramsay and his forehead? About 10 years
Doctor to patient with gash on forehead: "What was the last thing you heard before the helicopter rotor hit you?" "Someone shouting 'Duck, duck go!'"
My friend was putting lipstick on her forehead She said she was trying to make-up her mind
I met a man with a nose on his forehead the other day... He said it gave him a heightened sense of smell.
My girlfriend made a gesture calling me a loser because I'm obsessed with Smash Mouth puns. I told her she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead.
Whats the worst thing about eating rabbit? Their tiny legs kicking you in the forehead.
How does Peyton Manning lands 10 ladies at once?
In a helicopter
On the helicopter pad he calls his forehead.
What do you call your mom when she puts her hand on your forehead to check you for a fever? TherMOMeter