Honda Jokes

Funny Honda Jokes
Score: 69

Did you hear the CEO of Honda wont be back next year? He's leaving of his own accord.

Edit: grammar.

Score: 50

What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion? An Accordion.

...I'll, uh, see myself out.

Score: 34

Did you hear about that guy who was crushed by his Honda? Police say he died of his own Accord.

Score: 33

I am thinking of buying a Honda directly from Japan and pay all the necessary tariffs. It’ll be my Civic duty.

Score: 9

I had to sell my Honda Guess I am out of my element now

Score: 8

What do you get when you mix Nintendo and Japanese cars? Super Honda Odyssey

I’m sorry

Score: 8

How do we know the Apostles drove a Honda? “When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one accord.” Acts 2:1 KJV

Score: 8

My daughter called to tell me she saw a man driving a fast car made of macaroni and cheese. She was doing 80 in a Honda and he was driving pasta.
E: my first (I think) original dad joke. Don’t slaughter me

Score: 7

Honda made a car called the CRX before. Now they make one called the CRZ. They skipped the one in the middle because the prototype was so bad, it made them CRY.

Score: 6

What kind of car does Bill Cosby drive? A Honda quaalude. (Credit to my girlfriend)

Score: 5

My vacuum cleaner wasn’t working that well So I put a Honda sticker on it so it would suck more

Score: 5

I thought a man was taking the wheels off my Honda Turns out he was doing it on his own accord

Score: 5

A guy pulled up next to me in his Honda on a scorching day.... .... and asked if he could fry and egg on the hood of my black car on a dare.

I looked back at him incredulously and said "Why not do it on your own Accord?"

Score: 4

Why does Kendrick Lamar like to roll past the police in a Honda? Because they can't take him out his Element

Score: 4

What's a prostitute doing in the back of a honda? Her civic duties, of course.

Score: 4

An asian man goes to the eye doctor... Doctor: "Sir you have cataracts."
Asian man: "No I drive a honda."

Score: 3

If you spell race car backwards... You get what Honda owners wish they had.

Score: 3

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda? Civic doody.

Score: 3

My mayor claims he's a Honda dealer... He calls his dealership the Civic Centre

Score: 3

Simple misunderstanding This couple are looking to buy a new car. They see this wonderful Honda for a decent price and a salesman shows them around. The couple ask “Cargo Space?” The salesman says “The car? No! This car can’t fly”

Score: 3

What did the pirate say to his wife after he got back from the Honda dealer? We have an Accord.

Score: 3

What does E. Honda have in common with all other Hondas? They rely on cheap mechanics

Score: 2

I imported a Honda directly from Japan and was forced to pay a large tariff... ...that's OK though because it's my Civic duty.

Score: 2

What do you call a Honda limousine? "An anahonda"

Score: 2

When do Honda owners not argue about anything? When they're in Accords.

Score: 2

What type of car did the apostles drive? A Honda, because they were all in one Accord.

Score: 2

What do you call a cross between a Toyota and a Honda? A cross. A priest must have dropped it.

Score: 2

What's the most reliable thing about a Honda? It's theft rate.

Score: 1

Someone asked Sean Connery what's the worst car he's ever seen. It was the Honda City.

Score: 1

What type of car does Mario drive? A Honda Odyssey. Ba-dum-tsss.

Score: 1

The wife said she'd like me to make love to her over the hood of her Honda Civic. I never would have thought of doing that on my own Accord.

Score: 1

I went to a Honda dealership the other day And I bought a car.

The salesman had finished his shift and asked me if I could give him a lift home in my new car.

I said no.

So he got their of his own accord

Score: 0

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