Miss You Jokes

My wife said to me: "If you won the lottery, would you still love me?" I said: "Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you."

Score: 2348

Guess who woke up to 32 missed calls from their ex? My ex.

Stephanie, I miss you, please come back to me

Score: 2054

My girlfriend asked me: "If you won the lottery, would you still love me?" And I answered: "Of course! I'd miss you, but I still love you"

Score: 419
Funny Miss You Jokes
Score: 157

What did the Stormtrooper say to his family before shipping off to Empire basic training? I’ll miss you.

Score: 137

My wife and I were lying in bed the other day... My hands were slowly finding their way across her body.

I whispered, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman in the world."

She whispered back, "I'll miss you."

Score: 118

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" The woman says, "I'll miss you."

Score: 112

If you miss your ex Steady aim, control breathing, and fire again

Score: 101

It's with a heavy heart that I give a shout-out to my dad who couldn't be with us to see Endgame tonight. I miss you with all my heart. Maybe pre-order your tickets on time next time, moron.

Score: 72

I used to like Mitch Hedberg I still do but I used to too. RIP Mitch, we miss you.

Score: 46

Husband: "Right now, for this Women's Day, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!" Wife: "Oh dear, I will miss you!"

Score: 38

A guy called his Ex A guy called his Ex and told her "I missed you".

The Ex replied "Oh that's sweet, but it's over".

The guy said "Yea I know, but can you please stand closer to the window so I won't miss you again?"

Score: 30

Why do stormtroopers always make the best boyfriends? Because they always miss you.

Score: 29

What did the anti-vaccer say to her son? I miss you.

Score: 26

A couple is lying in bed. The husband says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."The wife replies,... ..."I'll miss you."

Score: 22

What do you do if you miss your mother-in-law? Reload.

(Thanks Bob Dylan via Theme Time Radio Hour)

Score: 13

Best Husband A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

Score: 13

I cried when my dad chopped up onions.... Onions was a really good dog :[ I'll miss you buddy

Score: 10

I haven't seen my son in months One day a boy come home looking exactly like him but he said he was hungry. Son I don't know who this hungry guy is but I miss you, please come home. -Dad

Score: 8

What do you do when you miss your ex? Reload and shoot again.

Score: 6

My wife and I were lying in bed the other day, my hands slowly finding their way across her body.... I whispered, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman in the world."

She whispered back, "I'll miss you."

Score: 6

What do you do when you miss your mother in law? Reload

Aim

Shoot again!

Score: 5

A couple is lying in bed. The woman says, "I am going to make you the happiest man in the world..." The man replies, "I'll miss you."

Score: 4

What kind of drink you need when you miss your old girlfriend? Ex on the beach

Score: 3

When i'm bored in Lockdown i just send flowers with An "i miss you" card to my neighbour John. Then i go to the balcony with a drink and listen to his wife.

Score: 3

I had to buy a new lawn mower today... Trump departed my old one. I will miss you Jose.

Score: 3

Which trees miss you the most? Pine trees

Score: 2

What you do when you miss your wife? You shoot again

Score: 2

In America, the clock doesn't dismiss you The Glock does.

Score: 2

Shoot for the moon, if you miss you'll land among the stars is a good quote Unless you're an astronaut.

Score: 2

What do you do when you miss your mother-in-law Reload and try again

Score: 2

My doctor sang this to me at my birthday "Happy birthday to you. You live in a zoo. You have terminal cancer. Your family'll miss you"

Score: 2

My wife said to me "If you won the lottery, would you still love me?" I answered "Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you."

Score: 2

Your eyes water when you yawn, Because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Score: 2

What did the Anti-Vaxxer tell her son before the school-day started? I miss you.

Score: 1

I saw a wino eating a bunch of grapes I said "You gotta wait!"

I miss you Mitch Hedberg

Score: 1

Popular Topics