Morning Wood Jokes

My evening wouldn’t normally start out with an erection... ..but my morning wood.

Score: 61

if it's called morning wood for men then what is it for women.. Morning dew.

Score: 55
Funny Morning Wood Jokes
Score: 53

A Jew wakes up with morning wood and runs right into a wall. What does he say? Ouch, my nose!

Score: 15

morning wood is like my childhood... wasted potential

Score: 7

I banged 2 girls with morning wood I guess I can call it a tree-some.

Score: 7

What's worse than morning wood? Mourning wood

Score: 5

In my previous life, night time would never help me have erection But morning wood

Score: 4

I woke up with my back stiff as a board It's morning wood

Score: 4

I hate peeing with morning wood... It’s just so hard!

Score: 2

I never did understand morning wood. I don’t typically get aroused at funerals.

Score: 2

I just peed with morning wood It was hard

Score: 2

My construction worker friend says he has stopped getting morning wood. He says he has a rock tile dysfunction.

Score: 2

If men get morning wood and jack it off... Then it’s a Lumberjack...

Score: 2

"HE" is risen again today! I woke up with morning wood as usual

Score: 2

I have really bad morning wood Every night I go to sleep under my blanket, but wake up under a tent.

Score: 1

(Sigh) How I miss those good old days... Alas, my good old days of "morning wood" have been replaced by "morning wouldn't."

Score: 1

What's awkward for a man but a normal part of the job for a lumberjack? Morning wood.

Score: 1

I always wake up saying "i would like to [...]" I call it "Morning wood".

Score: 1

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