Motivational Jokes

How many motivational speakers does it take to change a lightbulb? Zero, because the change starts with you.

Score: 134

A motivational speaker gave blood, what was his blood type? B-Positive

Score: 68

A guy walks in a library: - Do you have motivational books here?
- Yes darling, right there, 3rd row, the second shelf.
- Do you have any books closer?"

Score: 36
Funny Motivational Jokes
Score: 19

What blood type does a motivational speaker have? B Positive!

Score: 15

Why do churches have so many statues and paintings featuring naked boys? Early form of motivational art - to keep employee morale up and remind them what they're working for.

Score: 6

I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration. Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.

Score: 5

"Where there's a will, there's a way" is a great self motivational phrase Until an inheritance is involved

Score: 5

I blew a speaker in my car today yea, he was motivational speaker, it left a bad taste in my mouth but I've been feeling a lot more positive ever since.

Score: 4

Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker? Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.

Score: 4

What did the motivational speaker say to the duct? You conduit!

Score: 4

A motivational speaker retired due to depression He discovered he had B Negative blood

Score: 4

I blew a speaker in my car today It was a motivational speaker nice guy

Score: 4

What's the difference between a motivational speaker and a baseball player? The baseball player has all of its limbs.

Score: 3

My sister told me about a christian motivational group that came to her school. She said they were super strong but didn't lift weights. So I figured they must do crossfit.

Score: 3

People have said I should be a motivational speaker... But I don't have the motivation.

Score: 3

I was asked to give a motivational speech But I just don't feel like it.

Score: 3

What do you call a group of motivational speakers? A fleece.

Score: 3

A man was at a HIV volunteer center... ...to give a motivational talk to the patients

He told them they need to stay positive.

Not surprise he got kicked out shortly after

Score: 2

Stand and Deliver "Stand and Deliver" are motivational words unless they are told to a pregnant lady.

Score: 2

Dog toys that make noise… are motivational squeakers

Score: 2

Should I get motivational quotes tattooed on my arms? On one hand, Just go for it! On the other, maybe, always think twice.

Score: 2

Money can't buy you happiness. But it can buy you the ability to make motivational statements.

Score: 2

A motivational speaker once told me to, "work until my bank account looked like a phone number." He would be proud. Today my balance was. $9.11

Score: 2

Hippo was a great motivational speaker. Hippo taught that you must never give up. Hippo didn’t follow his own advice. Hippo Quit

Score: 2

When Katy Perry has the eye of the tiger it’s inspiring and motivational But when I have it all of a sudden I’m “endangering animals” and have a “lifetime ban from the zoo”

Score: 2

After being 3 months sober from drinking, I bought myself a motivational poster to keep my spirits up. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." -Wayne Gretzky

Score: 2

I was recently giving a motivational speech for the "international dyslexia association" I ended with: "And remember, there's no "I" in dyslexia..."

Score: 1

Why was the motivational speaker a failure in Ethiopia? His mantra was "Stay Hungry"

Score: 1

I love my job as a youth motivational speaker I’ve touched alot of kids in my years.

Score: 1

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