Peep Jokes

I'm surprised we haven't heard a peep out of the NRA over the whole Disney/Guardians of the Galaxy thing Usually they are hellbent on defending anything involving a Gunn.

Score: 9

Someone was banging on my door yesterday and yelling "let me in, let me in". I went and had a look through the peep hole, and standing outside was a man dressed as a basin. Just let that sink in.

Score: 9

I was going to make a scene when they told me I couldn't join the Easter Egg hunt... ...instead I just left without a Peep.

Score: 7

What did Bo Peep say when Woody walked in on her and Buzz cheating? “You’ve got a friend in me”

Score: 6

There was one good thing still to be said about the politician who went to prison for stalking... He was a man of the peep-hole!

Score: 5

What did Bo Peep say to Woody when he caught her with Buzz Lightyear? "You've got a friend in me!"

Score: 4

What did bo-peep say to woody when he caught her in bed with buzz? You’ve got a friend in me

Score: 4
Funny Peep Jokes
Score: 3

What did John Lennon say when he first arrived at the Door section of Home Depot. Imagine all the peep holes.

Score: 3

Help! I think I broke my phone's speaker! All I did was convert my normal rap playlist into an emo rap playlist. Now all I can hear is a Lil Peep.

Score: 3

Studies show that spying on people is good for humanity. Power to the peep-hole!

Score: 2

What does the horn sound like on a marshmallow car? Peep. Peep.

Score: 2

How do you know when the movie in a peep show stall is finished? Its all over.

Score: 2

Held a stud finder to my chest to show the wife how well it works. She was convinced. Not a peep out of it.

Score: 2

Guy hears a ring and looks through the peep hole only to see policeman standing outside.

"Can we talk?" asks the policeman?

\- "How many of your are outside?"

\- "Two"

\- "Then talk"

And goes back to bed.

Score: 2

Why can you trust chocolate but not marshmallow? Because chocolate doesn't make a peep.

Score: 1

We think our cat ate a dozen of our baby chicks yesterday ...but we can't seem to get a peep out of her!

Score: 1

What did Little Bo Peep say to Woody when she cheated on him with Buzz Lightyear? You've got a friend in me.

Score: 1

What do you call a broken Bo Peep figurine in a trailer park? Little Po' Peep.

Score: 1

What do you never hear a deaf dad say? "I don't want to hear a peep out of you!"

Score: 1

Why does 'without a peep' mean 'silent'? Because nobody complains when they *don't* have garbage candy.

Score: 1

What do you call a sweaty shepardess? BO peep

Score: 0

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