I’m going to join the Navy purely out of spite I’m longing to become a Petty Officer.
why does Tom Petty use Turbotax?
Cuz it's FREEEEEE!!!!!
FREE FIIILIIIINNNNNNNNG....
Sorry.
Petty Cash
I place $20 in a box.
So do you.
Now the box contains $40, and we both know it.
I sell the box to you for $30.
And we both walk away with a $10 profit.
Like my grandfather always said: "Don't sweat the petty things in life, Pet the sweaty things.."
Trump may have dodged the draft but he was still given honorary military ranks.
Private Tax Return,
Major Embarrassment,
Chief Petty Officer,
General Incompetence.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
Did you hear about the guy who illegally downloaded Free Fallin' and Refugee? He was charged with Petty theft.
A man walks into a bar and takes a seat. He later gets arrested for petty theft.
Tom Petty died yesterday of a cardiac arrest I blame the Heartbreakers
TIL Tom Petty had a brother that owned his own nail salon Manny Petty
I committed a petty theft today... The cops took me in on charges for a salt and battery.
I got caught torrenting "Free Fallin", "American Girl", and "Wildflowers" They charged me with first degree Petty Theft.
What do you call a police who arrests a jaywalker? A Petty Officer!
Gods are petty and cruel Just like the people who created them.
I’m joining the Navy purely out of spite... I'll be a petty officer!
I was ridiculed by some miscreants at the Halloween party for my Helium atom costume,.. ... but I was too noble to react to such petty volatile elements.
Did you hear about the robber who wouldn't stop complaining about his victim That's the problem with a petty theif
Celebrities keep dying over minor causes. Petty deaths.
What do you call it when a child throws a fit and lies about eating the cookies? a temper-tantrum. What do you call it when the president makes a fool of out of a whole country and is constantly lying about petty things? ... a Trumper-tantrum
Don’t sweat the petty things. And don’t pet the sweaty things.
The Treasury Department just announced a new $3 bill featuring President Trump. It's designed for businesses who need to keep petty cash.
What kind of underwear did Tom Petty wear? He didn’t. He was free ballin’.
My wife was feeling down because she thought her sister looked better than her so she went to the salon and got her toes done. I'd call that a petty cure.
Have you heard of the annual ginger meeting? It's petty unknown, last time not a single soul came.
Don't sweat the petty stuff Always take time to pet the sweaty stuff
I dowloaded the song "Runnin' down a dream" illegally from the internet... I got charged with Petty theft.
It's not her fault... ...but my cat and I have a petty relationship.
What makes Tom so petty? He's the leader of the Heartbreakers.
I could make a list of all the musicians I don't like But that would just be Petty.
Trump seemed petty pleased with himself after the Mueller report was released. I guess you could say he was on “cloud nein.”
It is really sad to hear that Tom Petty's family is fighting over his estate. After all, it is really just petty cash.
This entire year I was looking forward to being Tom Petty for Halloween But now going as a zombie is just to basic