So I got a phone call from the post office today... ...complaining that my dog is attacking a postman on a bike. But I told them "It can't be my dog... he doesn't even know how to ride a bike".
Got a phone call today from my twin brother who is in jail He said “Hey do you remember how we always used to finish each others’ sentences?”
A teacher receives a phone call shortly before the school day starts
Caller: Mr. Brown, my son James will not come to school today because he is sick.
Teacher: Who am I speaking to please?
Caller: I am my father.
After extensive investigations and many phone calls, the police found that, despite the fact that I’m black, I’ve got a good job, no criminal record and I own the BMW I was driving. So they arrested me for wasting police time.
What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
The outlaws are wanted
*shoutout to the customer that called in and ended the phone call with a joke to spread some cheer*
Mother receives a telephone call from school telling her they are sending home her son for peeing in the swimming pool.
"But everyone does that," she says.
"Not from the top diving board, they don't."
Please be careful!!!!! don't know if this is a scam, I've just received a phone call saying I've won tickets for an Elvis Presley tribute show then it said. Just press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.
I’ve just received a phone call saying I’ve won £250 or 2 tickets for an Elvis Presley tribute show... ...it said press 1 for the money, 2 for the show
News: Hillary Clinton concedes her defeat to Donald Trump in a private phone call. Safe to say she's learned her lesson with emails!
Why did the cancer specialist keep getting phone calls in the middle of the night? He was an on-call-ogist
Trump is banning telephone calls to and from the middle east I can't believe our president created the teleban!
I think my wife might be secretly dealing drugs. There was a suspicious phone call this morning which I answered. A male voice asked "Has that dope gone yet?"
A guy gets a phone call
from a girls he likes. She says "Come over, nobody's home!"
So he goes over, and nobody's home.
Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
* Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
* A: He thought it was a delivery service.
I booked some Star Wars impersonators for my son's birthday, but I've just had a phone call saying that their people carrier's broken down. All I know is that they're in a Galaxy far, far away.
I just had a phone call saying I'd won £250 cash or two tickets to an Elvis tribute night. It said Press 1 for the money or 2 for the show......
I got a phone call from Spokane, WA today I didn’t answer it, because I’ve never spokane to anyone from there.
The White House informs its supporters it is pulling out of the Paris accord. It was the most difficult 4 phone calls they ever made.
An old man in Brooklyn gets a phone call that his cheese shop blew up.
“Oh, no! I’d better get down there right away!”
The guy on the phone tells him, “Nah, take your time. All that’s left where de shop was is de brie.”
Vladimir Putin receives a phone call from his assistant after the election... "Good morning, Mr. Putin. I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that your adversary has taken 61% of the vote. The good is, you've taken more."
I don’t know if this is a scam or not? I’ve just received a phone call saying I’ve won £250 or 2 tickets for an Elvis Presley tribute show Then it said just press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.
I made a phone call to a friend to tell them a new joke. It didn't get very good reception.
I got a phone call from some helpful people who wanted me to know a few things... But what I'd like to know is who put Prince Albert in a can and why is my refrigerator running?
I can't get into details right now, but earlier this week I received the single, greatest phone call of my life. Then just 5 minutes later, I got another call telling me that my dad is in the hospital... I said, "Yeah, I just heard"
What do you call a cow who travels with you and can make phone calls? A moo-bile phone
I think my wife is dealing drugs.
This morning I was running late, and I answered a very suspicious phone call.
All i heard was a strange, male voice say, "Has that dope left out yet?"
Got this new game on my phone called Titanic. It's kind of annoying... Every time I open the app it syncs.
A man gets a phone call from an unknown number
"Hello?"
Seductive female voice:
"Happy birthday, darling!"
"Who's on the phone?"
"Your unfulfilled dream..."
Him, with tears in his eyes:
"Is that you, Harley-Davidson?"
Phone calls between time zones are the worst. One night I was lonely and tried to call the international date line. No luck.
What did Dani Alves said in team strategy meeting when he got phone call ? I will be right back
My proctogogist won't take my phone calls anymore. I guess saying "What, no happy ending!" isn't proper exam room etiquette.
I was woken up by a phone call telling me I’ve committed tax fraud They must have had the wrong number cause I don’t pay taxes
If Trump succumbs, the first phone call President Pence receives... ...should be from the Mexican government offering to pay for his gravestone.
I'm a great bookkeeper I've had to take out my simcard to stop the phone calls asking for their books back.
I got a phone call from a girl saying "Come over! No one's home!"
I went over and no one was home
-Rodney Dangerfield
What is the one thing that getting married and a phone call in the middle of the night have in common? You only wake up after the ring.
Tech support got a phone call...
Customer: "I don't get it, I pressed 'suspend' on my computer, the screen went black."
Technician: "Yeah, it puts your computer to sleep."
Customer: "But, it's still sitting on the desk..."
When I was out, my wife answered a phone call from a foreign coworker of mine.
“My husband will be back in twenty minutes.”
“Is that 20 minutes GMT or Central Daylight time?”
How do apply for a job at the NSA? You make a private phone call to anyone else, and submit your application.