Voldemort: So I just have to lie? Pinocchio: Yep
How did Pinocchio discover he was made of wood? His hand caught fire.
Why didn't Pinocchio make it thru puberty? He caught on fire.
How did pinocchio find out he was a wooden boy? His hand caught fire.
Why couldn't Pinocchio get a date on craigslist because everyone wanted "no strings attatched"
What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio's face? Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie...
did you hear what the little boy found when he opened his toy box? Raggedy Ann setting on Pinocchio's face screaming,"Lie to me, lie to me."
Did you hear about the woman banned from Disney World? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming, "Lie to me, Pinocchio! Lie to me!"
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? His hand caught fire.
What do Justin Bieber and Pinocchio have in common? Both want to be real boys
Why was Raggedy Ann thrown out of the Toy Box? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, saying "Lie to me!"
Why is Pinocchio the most requested at the Disney brothel? Because he lets girls sit on his face while he tells them lies.
Pinocchio
When did Pinocchio learn he was made of wood?
when his hand caught fire!!
Pinocchio was going down on his GF, she started yelling lie to me, lie to me. Pinocchio:" i love you"!
What do you call an old man with a Pinocchio fetish? A Geppettophile
What do you call a fat pinocchio? A narwhal
Pinocchio was my favorite lover Every time he lied to me it made me feel so much better
Why did Pinocchio’s girlfriend break up with him? He said “I love you”
How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood? He was jacking off one day and his hand caught on fire.
How does Pinocchio's father know when his son tells a lie? He just nose it.
Two different testicles
Doctor: You got two different testicles. One is made of wood and the other one is metal.
Man: * **surprised** *
Doctor: Do you have children?
Man: Yes, two - Pinocchio is 3 and Terminator will be 7 soon.
How do you know "Pinocchio" was written a long time ago? He kept making such a big deal out of being wireless.
Pinocchio got a new job at a tire store He keeps telling all the customers "I'm a wheel boy."
Did you know Pinocchio has a brother? His name is Pistachio, every time he lies his nuts grow.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew? IT’S A LIIIEEEE!!
Hey Pinocchio would that be your knee? No it wood knot.
What did Pinocchio say to his girlfriend Sit on my face and I'll tell you some lies.
Why isn't Pinocchio in a serious relationship? Because he wants no strings attached.
Why did pinocchio buy a new monitor Because he click on "Agree" without reading the "Terms and conditions"
Why would Pinocchio make a bad criminal? He wasn't cut out for this.
When did Pinocchio realized that he is made from wood? When his right arm caught on fire...
What does transgenders and Pinocchio have in common? They both want to be a real boy.
What was Pinocchio's defense when he was tried for armed robbery? well, Geppetto was the one pulling the strings
Hear about the girl who sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Are you gonna lie to me!?" Pinocchio said, "Yes... no... yes... no... yes... no...!"
Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box? She sat on Pinocchio's face and made him lie to her.
What does Pinocchio say when he accidentally tells a lie? "Oh nose!"
What's the difference between CNN and Pinocchio?
When Pinocchio lies, his nose gets an erection
When CNN lies, Donald Trump gets an erection
I heard that, on opposite day, Pinocchio's nose actually works the other way around. Big if true.