Sneezing Jokes

Funny Sneezing Jokes
Score: 33

Kim Kardashin flour bombing incident Police called off the search for the person who flower bombed Kim Kardashin.

They learned it was just Lindsey Lohan sneezing

Score: 20

What sound does a sneezing gargoyle make? Stat-choo!

Score: 10

What sound does a sneezing nut make? Cashew!

Score: 7

I can see a woman sneezing on the escalator. I think she's coming down with something.

Score: 6

What do you call a sneezing fit? A sneezure

Score: 6

What did the cashew say to the sneezing peanut? "Yes, what is it?"

Score: 5

I couldn't stop sneezing after lunch today. ...I ate a sneezer salad.

(Also this is a true story, and I said this to my office :P)

Score: 5

I was walking behind a girl late at night I open silently the bottle of chloroform so she doesn't freak out.
I put out my tissue,
put chloroform on it,
*sneezing*
clean my nose,
and pass out

I'm not a smart man

Score: 4

What do you call a sneezing Jew ? a jewwwwwwwww

Score: 4

What do you call a sneezing nut? Cashew

Score: 4

I saw a flying pig! He was coughing and sneezing though, so I killed him. After all, the swine flu!

Score: 4

A kangaroo is jumping around in Australia When ever she stops a little penguin pocks his head out of her pouch.

In Antarctica a little kangaroo is sitting with some penguins, sneezing and grumbling: Fucx this student exchange program!

Score: 4

What do you call a sneezing rabbi AaaJeww!

Score: 4

Which Star Wars character is always sneezing? Atchoo-bacca.

Score: 3

If sneezing means someone's thinking about you... I guess that explains why I never got sick before

Score: 2

My friend couldn't stop sneezing and I said, "man, your nose is like a shotgun with unlimited ammo!" He said, "It's ah.. ahh.. an-an-allergy"

I said, "no, simile".

Score: 2

What would an Asian language that involved sneezing be called? Chine-sneeze

Score: 2

Did you hear about the guy who was possessed by a sneezing ghost? He needed to be blessed.

Score: 2

A black smith went to a doctor He said he just can't stop sneezing.

The doctor told him he has a Metallurgy.

Score: 2

What’s sneezing on your period like? Smacking the bottom of an open ketchup bottle.

Score: 2

What do you call a sneezing virgin? A Goesintight

Score: 1

Why does sneezing feel so good? It's a blessing.

Score: 1

Coughing, sneezing, farting: they all bring out the worst in me. Coughing, sneezing, farting: they all bring out the worst in me.

Score: 1

Why do crocodiles live in salt water? Because if they lived in pepper water they'd never stop sneezing.

Score: 0

Two Chinese playing Russian Roulette. They kept sneezing in each other's face.

Score: 0

Some jerk assaulted me for sneezing ‘too loud’ on the subway... He’s lucky he didn’t apepper me too!!

Score: 0

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