What's an advantage of being Swiss? The flag is a big plus.
Where is the capital of Zimbabwe? In a Swiss bank account.
A joke from WWII
A German soldier is talking to a Swiss soldier:
"How many soldiers could Switzerland mobilize if we were to invade?"
"Half a million within two days."
"And if we invade with a million troops?"
"We shoot twice and go home."
A German and a Swiss are arguing about who's country is better...
The German, clearly annoyed, asks the Swiss
"So what's so great about Switzerland?" The Swiss shrugs, simply saying.
"Well, the flag is a big plus."
Why does no one like the swiss army? Because they are all a bunch of tools.
A Swiss Army Knife is a lot like a pod of dolphins... Multi-porpoise!
What's the difference between Swiss cheese and a black male? Swiss cheese matures before being filled with holes
I once bought a Swiss car... But I couldn't get it out of neutral.
How do you make a Swiss Roll?
Push him down a hill.
BONUS: How do you make French Wine?
Invade.
A cat eats a slice of swiss cheese... and sits by the mousetrap with baited breath.
What type of milk is swiss cheese made of? Whole milk.
I was gonna write a story about Swiss cheese But the plot had too many holes in it.
How do you make a swiss roll? Push him down a hill.
My collection of Swiss watches was stolen in Spain. Adios Omegas.
I ask my Swiss friend what he thought about Switzerland. He replied, "Well the flag's a big plus."
I accidentally ordered a ham and cheddar instead of a turkey and swiss... Whoops, wrong sub
So I asked this swiss dude to tell me something good about living in Switzerland. "Well" he said "the flag is a big plus!"
There’s nothing much I can say about the Swiss But their flag is a big plus
why aren't there any movies about swiss cheese? because the plot has too many holes.
What did the Swiss man do after working 35 years as a Pepsi taste tester? Peeecolaaa
What is good about being Swiss? Well, the flag is a big plus.
Where is the capital of North Korea? In a Swiss bank account
There's an international multi-event competition for military spouses, but the same team wins every year. The Swiss Army Wives.
The Swiss embassy has had it’s flag stolen. Ambassadors are nonplussed.
Enjoying the views...
You: So..did you enjoy your trip to the Swiss Alps?
Me: Yes, it was amazing.
You: Did you enjoy the views?
Me: Mmm...No.
You: Why?
Me: The Mountains blocked the view.
How many gears does a French tank have?
One forward, five reverse
Heard it before? Well I bet you don’t know how many gears a Swiss tank has
Because they’re always in neutral
Cheese
What cheese is Swiss cheese most afraid of?....Munster cheese.
What?! It's a cheesy joke!
What does the Swiss defense have in common with their favorite food? They're both full of holes.
A redneck Texan, Swiss, Korean and a Mexican were flying..
I asked for a ham and swiss, you gave me a meatball instead Woops, wrong sub.
"Ain't" is like a Swiss Army knife It's got a lot of uses but you can't use it in school.
How do you make Swiss cheese? Tell them to smile.
After my wedding we ate Swiss cheese and played golf. It was a say of holey matrimony.
What's the only thing priests eat?
Swiss cheese.
Because it's holy.
Where does a skier in Switzerland go after a long day of skiing? Swiss Chalet
Teacher- Where is the CAPITAL of US? Student- In Swiss Bank
I'm starting a grocery chain that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts. Gonna call it Hole Foods.
What is the pH of Swiss Cheese?
It's a 7.
Neutral.