My buddy just came to me all depressed and said “My son flunked the third grade, and I just don't know how to break it to him.” So I said “well…probably better tell him pretty slowly, so the little dumbass will get it."
I wet my pants in the third grade once... And it cost me my teaching career.
Mrs. Jones was giving a spelling test to her third grade class...
“How do you spell the word ‘straight’?” asked Mrs. Jones.
Little Johnny shouts, “S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T!!”
“Excellent job Johnny! And what does that word mean?”
“Without ice.”
My buddy Brian had a kid a few years ago. He comes to me this summer and he goes...
"Man, my son just flunked the third grade. I don't know how to tell him he will be held back a year."
I was like, "I guess you better tell him slowly so that he will get it."
What do you call third grader with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.
What is long and hard on a black man? Third grade.
What are the best 10 years of a blonde's life? Third grade.
A Blonde Joke
Q: What are the best ten years of a blonde's life?
A: Third Grade
When I was in the third grade I thought I was black My dad went out for cigs one day and he never came back.
How do you make a car top?
Tep on the brake, tupid!
...
Third grade was a painful time.
Sitting Indian Style When I was in third grade the teacher told us to sit Indian Style. So I drank a 30 case of beer and laid in a gutter.
What is long and hard for a black guy? Third grade
What's long and hard on a black man? The third grade.
TIFU by approaching a woman I thought I had as a teacher for one day in third grade, but it wasn't her Oh, my bad, wrong sub
My third Grade teacher hated me
She would always try and make me look like an idiot. One time she asked me "What is the capital of France?"
I replied "Paris"
She said, "No the correct answer is 'F' "
What do you get when you cross a Sith Lord, and a Donkey?
Darth Mule!
A joke, from third grade me...
Happy Star Wars day!
What does a tree and a dog have in common?
BARK!
I still remember the reaction I got when I told my third grade teacher this joke.