Towel Jokes

The next time your wife gets angry... put a cape (or bath towel) over her shoulders then tell her: "Now, you're Super Angry!"

Maybe she'll laugh...or maybe you'll die.

Score: 999

Next time your wife is angry, drape a towel over her shoulders.... ... and say, now you're super angry.

Maybe she laughs.

Maybe you die.

Score: 419
Funny Towel Jokes
Score: 152

What gets wetter the more you dry it? A woman with a towel fetish

Score: 109

Wife's Campaign My wife has wasted years campaigning for tampon companies to make sanitary products suitable for the 'larger' lady.

I'm trying to convince her that it's time to just throw in the towel.

Score: 90

pirate joke I saw a pirate walking down the street and he had a paper towel on his head so I said "what's with the paper towel." he said "arrgh got a Bounty on me head."

Score: 87

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head, sits down and orders a drink. Bartender serves the pirate his drink, and asks about the paper towel.

The pirate smiles and says, "That be the bounty on me head!"

Score: 67

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head... ...and orders a drink.

The bartender says, "Sure- but what's with the paper towel?"

"Arrrrrr!" the pirate says. "I've got a bounty on me head!"

Score: 58

A pirate walks in a bar... A pirate walks in a bar with a paper towel on his head, the bartender says "whats with that" the Pirate says "ARR!! I have Bounty on me head"

Score: 56

A pirate walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Hey pirate, what's with the paper towel on your head?"

The pirate replies, "Arrr, I got a bounty on me head."

Score: 38

Where does He-Man keep his towel? BY THE SHOWER OF GREYSKULL!!!

I wrote this joke today. Feel free to steal it.

Score: 35

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender sees this and asks him why.

The pirate replies, "Arr, I've got a bounty on me head!"

Score: 35

Bounty Towels have declined making a Donald Trump Towel The company explained that it was impossible to make the towel because Donald Trump was already too self-absorbed.

Score: 34

What does the Pope use to clean his counters? A Papal towel.

Score: 27

I really need to find a way to finish my laundry. I always start off strong but halfway through I throw in the towel.

Score: 18

Arrrrr A pirate walked into a bar with a paper towel on his head.

Bartender asked "why the paper towel on your head?"

Pirate says "Aaarrrr there be a bounty on me head"

Score: 18

Why don't they have showers on airplanes? Because of the towel ban.

Score: 14

What's the difference between toilet paper and a hand towel? So you're the one!

Score: 14

So a pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head; the bartender asks "what's up with the paper towel?" The pirate replied with "Arghh there's a Bounty on me head"

Score: 14

So I said, "As a matter of fact I do. Why does... Donald Duck Duck walk around all day with no pants on, but after he takes a shower he puts a towel around his waist?" And the waiter said, "No I meant do you have any questions about our menu."

Score: 13

What's the difference between your wife and a bath towel ? The bath towel gets wet everyday

Score: 11

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bar tender looks at the pirate perplexed “ Why is there a paper towel on your head?”
The pirate looks at him “ Yarg! There be a bounty on me head!”

Score: 9

Why did the washing machine stop? Somebody threw the towel in.

Score: 6

My 4 yo sister came to me and told this joke? Why didn’t the ocean dry up?

Because it didn’t have a towel.

Score: 6

A towel walks into a bar... He orders a drink, and says "I'll have it dry."

Score: 5

Jerry hated doing laundry. So he threw in the towel.

:D

Score: 5

Don't forget your trowel Wait.. It's towel? Wtf have I been carrying this little shovel around for then?

Score: 5

A pirate wearing a paper towel on his head walks into a bar. The bartender asks “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says “Arrr matey, I have a bounty on me head!”

Score: 5

What paper towel brand do pirates treasure? Bounty.

Score: 4

What do you call a sleepy relative of a paper towel? A napkin.

Score: 4

I caught Usain Bolt's sweat towel after the race today and promptly rubbed it all over my face I was trying to get usain in my membrane

Score: 4

What's the difference between a hand towel and toilet paper? "What?"
"You aren't coming to my house"

Score: 3

A pirate walks into a bar... A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head.
The bartender says, "Hey, what's that?".
The pirate replies, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on my head."

Score: 3

My blonde roommate walked into the bathroom with an undercooked steak, camera, and towel. She said "I'm getting some snaps of a rare, meatier shower."

Score: 2

What's the most common owl in Britain? The Tea towel.

Score: 1

That's it. I'm done. I'm throwing in the towel Because it stinks and its time to do a load of towels in the laundry.

Score: 1

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