Adoption Jokes

I should put my GPA up for adoption. There's no way I can raise it by myself.

Score: 123
Funny Adoption Jokes
Score: 117

Son, sit on my knee. What is it dad?

Son, do you know what adoption is?

Err yes, yes I do dad.

Well, your mother and I were thinking about getting you a cat...

Phew, dad.

Yes son. We thought it might be a nice present for an adopted kid.

Score: 36

Adoption Agent: Welcome to the adoption agency, how may I help you? Me: yes, I would like to put up my grades for adoption

Adoption Agent: wth..?... sir...you must be mistaken ...we...

Me: *crying* Please...help...
...I can't raise them on my own

Score: 34

I dislike the word "kidnapping"... I prefer "surprise adoption".

Score: 28

A lawyer, a spy, a money launderer, and a mob boss walk into a bar. The bar tender looks up and says, "you must be here to talk about adoption".

Score: 24

Putting my grades up for adoption... Because I can't raise them.

Score: 16

I'm putting my standards up for adoption Because I can't raise them anymore

Score: 16

I had to put my grades up for adoption because I couldn't raise them

Score: 14

I am putting my grades up for adoption. I can't raise them by myself.

Score: 13

I’m putting my grades up for adoption. You know why? Because I can’t raise them.

Score: 13

I told my dad that I don't like being a single child. "I want a brother!" I said.

He said, "Having a child is a long process, your mother and I don't need that right now."

"Maybe you should consider adoption?" I asked.

He said, "No, we're not doing that again."

Score: 10

Hi everyone, if you know someone who has animals to give up for adoption, tell them to contact me before Christmas. I'm interested in:
Turkeys, chickens, snappers, bream, lobsters, prawns and lobsters.
Thanks

Score: 10

What do they call the lottery in Africa? Celebrity adoption.

Score: 9

I think I want to put my grades up for adoption Because I can't raise them myself.

Score: 8

I put out my grades for adoption. I couldn't raise them.

Score: 8

I'm officially putting my GPA up for adoption... I just can't raise it myself

[joke credit to the girl I overheard say it in the library]
Edit: apparently its from yikyak?

Score: 7

I'm putting my grades up for adoption. I can't raise them myself.

Score: 5

My sister is going put her grades up for adoption. When I questioned her about it, she said, "Well, I can't raise them myself."

Score: 5

I was forced to put my grades up for adoption I just couldn't raise them

Score: 4

A lawyer, a spy, a mob boss and two Russian oligarchs walk into a bar. The bartender says... "You guys must be here to talk about adoption."

Score: 4

I put my grades up for adoption Because I couldn’t raise them.

Score: 4

I adopted a cat but it turned out that my daughter is allergic to cats So, I am giving her away for adoption. She's 7 and she's in second grade

Score: 3

I walked into a PETA adoption center and the receptionist asked me what kind of dog I wanted Apparently "Whatever's low in cholesterol" was not the right answer.

Score: 3

I put my grades up for adoption I can't raise them myself

Score: 3

People say that adopted kids aren’t loved the same as biological kids. You’d have to be pretty drunk to accidentally spend $40,000 at an adoption agency.

Score: 3

Asked my mom why i wasn't aborted. She said that the adoption ward can't do that on newborns.

Score: 3

Why did the necromancer put the corpse up for adoption He couldn't raise the dead.

Score: 3

Is kidnapping legal? Me: kidnapping I prefer the term surprise adoption
Police: what crack are you on

Score: 3

I went to an adoption centre the other day. It was the most tragic experience ever... For my son.

Score: 3

A lawyer, a spy, a mob boss, and a money launder walk into a bar. The bartender says: "you guys must be here to talk about adoption."

Score: 2

Told my pregnant boss this: Is it OK for you to drink while pregnant... if you're gonna give the baby up for adoption?

She laughed at least. But I no longer work there

Score: 1

What do you call a special needs person who is put up for adoption? A hand-me-down.

Score: 1

Adoption is a wonderful thing. Three of my nine siblings are adopted Someday I'm going to find them

Score: 1

I couldn't raise my grades no matter how hard I tried So I put them up for adoption

Score: 1

A Russian lawyer, an ex spy and the presidents son walk into a bar... ... and talk about adoption.

Score: 1

Popular Topics