My dad, a vietnam veteran, told me that there's one thing that always sticks with kids and adults no matter how old they are. Napalm
When I was a kid adults would use swear words then apologise by saying 'Excuse my French'. I still remember my first day at school when the teacher asked "Does anyone know any French?"
What contains the letters a,u, t, and s and is caused by vaccines? adults
According to National Geographic, 80% of US adults could not find Ukraine on an unmarked map. They're really ahead of their time.
Why do kids hate coffee, but adults enjoy it? Because, when you're a kid, coffee is the bitterest experience you've had in life.
I saw a kid being beat up by 4 adults and tried to help. Kid couldn't stand for long against 5 adults.
I went with my kids for a swim in the public kids pool and apparently adults peeing in a pool is not entirely unnoticeable The lifeguard yelled so loud at me I almost fell in the water.
I finally figured out what vaccines actually cause! Adults
Complaint from 3017: These children's long-term zero gravity soccer leagues are raising weak adults. Every kid gets atrophy.
It's 2023, a child asks her father "how did Donald Trump get elected?" ".....that was the year all the adults were busy coloring."
Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery?
My neighbour thinks adults shouldn't pretend the lawn is lava... But I'm on the fence.
I love talking to kids Adults never ask me what my 3rd favorite reptile is.
I had a threesome with two girls. They said they were 28 years old... How was I supposed to know they meant combined? They really look like adults, especially the 20-years old
I stopped a fight from happening at work today. I made the two guy see sense and talk through their personal issues like grown adults. The promoters were furious and fired me from my job as a referee.
Do infants enjoy infantry... as much as adults enjoy adultery?
What do you call a punch that can kill 20 kids and 6 adults? A Sandy Hook.
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Probably not.
With a wheelchair, everyday is Halloween!
Children are scared of you, adults try to guess what you are, and the elderly just give you candy!
Paraphrased from the wonderful Zach Anner
I went to the movie theater, and they said it was $6 for adults and $4 for children So I said: "Alright, then give me two boys and a girl."
When can a man and a woman have the same last name?
Teenagers: brother and sister
Adults: husband and wife
Alabama: yes
I went to the cinema, and the prices were: Adults $5.00, children $2.50.
So I
said, "Give me two boys and a girl."
What are children generally better at then adults? Giving the pope an errection
I treat children the same way I treat adults but some parents don't seem to like that. Apparently they don't appreciate me telling their kids to blow me.
adults make better fighters than infants yet more battles are won by infantry than adultery
Adults used to tell me that if I went into the inner city, I could get robbed by a drug dealer... I finally understand now, $5 for a cup of coffee is ridiculous
What do you call adults who fight each other over their imaginary friends? Religious.
Today I discovered a shocking side effect of vaccines. Adults
Did you know that only 1 in 4 US Adults with children have a Will? The rest gave them some other names, I assume.
Why don't infants have as much fun in infancy As adults do in adultery?
What's the difference between Japanese sake bars and doctors in Oregon? One of them serves adults in Asia...
I work with developmentally disabled adults and one of my clients asked me to post this one:
I will gladly take your downvotes, 'cause this guy is a gem. He comes to me everyday with a new one!
Q: What did the seal say when he swam into a wall?
A: Dam!
Toddlers use crayons to write on walls, teenagers scribble with spray paint, young adults tag friends facebook walls, and... ... cynical adults leave curmudgeon commentary on other social medias !!!
What would happen if we gave free personal pan pizzas to adults for reading books? Donald Trump wouldn't be president.