Alaska Jokes

If I want to bang an Eskimo... Alaska

Score: 590

I wonder what my wife's favourite US state is. Maybe Alaska.

Score: 164

If Mississippi wears her New Jersey, what does Delaware? I dunno, Alaska.

Score: 147

If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey to wear at the fair, what will Delaware? I don't know but Alaska.

Score: 143

Ever since my girlfriend moved to Alaska... Shes been cold and distant.

Score: 107
Funny Alaska Jokes
Score: 46

What do you call a hooker in Alaska? Frostitute

Score: 34

Someone asked me what the largest state in the US is... ...I told them I don't know but I know a girl who might so Alaska.

Score: 30

In Alaska, it’s 50 degrees below zero. It is so cold that I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

Score: 21

"What's the capital of Alaska?" \- "Juneau".

\- "No, I don't, that's why I'm asking".

Score: 19

So I was talking to my Australian friend when I asked him what country his Mother was from "Alaska"

"Okay well tell me what she says"

Score: 17

Sarah Palin bought up all of Alaska's pancake mix She's trying to keep her son from battering women

Score: 16

Alaska has its own capital! Did Juneau that?

Score: 16

If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey, what would Delaware? I don't know but Alaska

Score: 11

My mate went to Alaska and fell in love with both a male and female bear... He's Bipolar..

Score: 11

My roommate just told me he tried to walk to Russia from Alaska. He pulled up short because he couldn't get his Bering Strait.

Score: 11

How do Russians drive to Alaska? By bearing straight

Score: 9

I went on a date with a woman from Alaska... Things were going pretty well, and we sincerely enjoyed each others company. Then at the end of the night, I tried to give her an Eskimo kiss, but I guess she wasn't really Inuit.

Score: 9

If Mississippi went to Missouri for a New Jersey what did Delaware ? Don't know, Alaska

Score: 9

How do Jamaica? I don't know, Alaska

Score: 9

Hey man, where did Julie spend her vacation? Alaska.


- No thats okay, I'll ask her myself

Score: 8

What do you call a nudist beech in Alaska? Frosted tips

Score: 8

Can Mississippi wear Delaware's New Jersey? I don't know but Alaska.

Score: 7

Why don't hipsters live in Alaska? Everything is cool there already.

Score: 7

Jean's mom came home after visiting her hometown Maggie: Hey, where did your mom come from?

Jean: Alaska

Maggie: Don't bother, I'll ask her myself

Score: 7

What do you get when all 50 states legalize marijuana? Baked Alaska.

Score: 6

What clothes did Delaware? Maybe a New Jersey. You know what, Alaska

Score: 6

An American and Canadian walk into a bakery The American ordered some Baked Alaska. The Canadian, however, was having Nunavut.

Score: 6

Car broke down in Alaska When the tow truck arrived the driver said “It appears you blew a seal”

Guy said “no, that’s just mayonnaise, I ate a sandwich while waiting”

Score: 6

My girlfriend left me after I said she reminded me of our dessert, a baked Alaska. Fire hot on the outside, but ice cold on the inside. I should have just said sweet.

Score: 6

Being a bank guard in Alaska is tough... Everyone wears ski masks

Score: 5

Alaskan said to Texan: Stop bragging.... ...about how big your state is, or we'll divide Alaska in half and make you the third largest state.

Score: 4

Where do lesbians in Alaska go to meet up? The Klondike Bar

Score: 4

What do you call an eye doctor living in Alaska? An optical Aleutian.

Score: 3

My friend asked what my wifes obsession with North America is all about I'm not sure, but I said Alaska.

Score: 3

There's a Frog in Alaska that freezes during the winter. While entering this state, it stops breathing, its heart stops beating, it's palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's vomit on its sweater already.

Score: 2

What do you call a stoner from Alaska? A baked Alaskan.

Score: 2

A safari trip is a trip to the safari. An Alaska trip is a trip to Alaska.

However, an acid trip is not a trip to acid. It’s a trip to the safari in Alaska.

Score: 2

If Mississippi asked Missouri for her New Jersey, what would Delaware? Idaho either, but Alaska!

Score: 1

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