I bought 10 asparagus at the store but when I got home I realized I had 11 It was just a spare, I guess.
I asked my wife to grab 6 asparagus stalks from the garden. She came back with 7. The last one was just a spare, I guess.
What do vegetarians say when they get a flat tire? Should've bought asparagus.
What do you call a sad asparagus? Despairagus =/
Why is there no such thing as a punapple?
Because the best puns come in pears.
(Original joke made up by me and my friend the other day as we were high and ate pineapple... the asparagus guy inspired me to share)
Why is it always a good idea to pack asparagus when you go camping? In case your other agus breaks.
I don't like asparagus It makes my pee taste funny
What's Lady Gaga's favorite food?
Sushi because they serve it raw, raw, raw\-raw\-raw!
(sorry I just saw the guy get to the front page with his stoned asparagus joke, so I wanted to try mine).
Do you like Asparagus Soup ?
"Honey, do you like Asparagus ?"
'No'
"Do you like soup ?"
'Not really, why are you asking ?'
"Because you may not like what I did..."
'What ? Did you make Asparagus Soup ? '
"No, I've slept with your sister"
What did Mario say when his friend Gus was about to be shot in front of him? Asparagus
I got a flat tire I shoulda bought asparagus.
What does a vegetable use to change a flat? Asparagus...
What did the grocery store owner say to the customer that asked him if he sold tires? He shrugged and said, "I've got asparagus."
What did the Italian asparagus say to the man trying to kill him? Aspargi
What does a vegetarian say when their tyre goes flat? I should've brought asparagus...
The definition of an asparagus: A bean with aspersions of becoming a paintbrush.
I don’t eat asparagus, it makes my bedsheets and pajamas smell really bad.
What do you call an asparagus that wants to be a better person? Aspiregus
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
The respirator.
(My dad told me this while he was cooking asparagus)
I should’ve brought asparagus I have a flat tire
I got a flat tire on my way home from the grocery store At least I have asparagus
What’s the one vegetable you wish you bought when you have a flat tire? Asparagus.
What do you call a left over vegetable? A spare I guess. (asparagus)
What do you suppose a vegetable farmer would use to replace a flat tire? Asparagus...
What does a vegetarian use when he gets a flat tire? Asparagus
I got a flat tire I should of brought asparagus
Two vegans blew a tire on the interstate... One said to the other "I should have brought Asparagus."
Two men were riding in a car made of vegatables
They ran over a huge pothole and they blew a tire. One guy says to the other:
You should have brought asparagus
After tearing my anterior cruciate ligament I rubbed asparagus on my knee everyday. I don't think this stem cell treatment works for me.
What’s a Chad’s favorite vegetable?
“A Sperry gus” (asparagus - shoe brand)
Haha! Okay cya!