A Farmer and his cows A farmer counted his Cows before taking them to auction and counted 196 of them. But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
So a French WW2 rifle came up for sale at an auction, the description read... French rifle, never used, dropped once.
A man brings his black friend to a slave auction
After a while, he asks him:
"So what do you think?"
His friend replies:
"Well, I'm sold."
I always make sure I get stoned before I go to an auction. That way even if I don’t win anything, I’m always the highest bidder.
Earliest-known Ten Commandments tablet sells at auction for $850000 Bumping Apple off the top spot for most expensive mobile device without a headphone jack.
what do you called a epileptic at a auction
the highest bidder!
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(i can say this seeing i have it)
I snorted coke and meth, smoked four blunts, and injected heroin today... ...and this guy at the auction house is STILL saying im not the highest bidder.
A cooking utensil owned by both Hitler and Osama Bin Laden went for auction today. It’s the grater of two evils.
I saw some things at the auction labeled “Art Objects" Considering what they looked like, I’d object, too
I met a girl at a date auction and fell madly in love. But our love was for biddin'.
I mind controlled a guy to get me something at an auction Now he does my bidding
On a hunch, I tried looking for the murderer at the corpse auction. As soon as the auctioneer started it was a dead giveaway.
I value my kids more than anything else in my life. You wouldn't believe how much they went for at the auction.
A deaf person one the bet at an auction He’s one but at what cost
A farmer decided to sell all of his chickens to the highest bidder... It was poultry in auction
What does a deaf person say when they win an auction I've won... But at what cost
What do you call 5 black guys on a stage? An auction
A prominent art collector quits the Cabinet immediately after his confirmation He had stumbled into the wrong auction
Where can I find criminally low sales? A police auction!
I think I'm getting too old ... I attended an antique auction yesterday and 16 people started bidding on me.
How do you get ranchers to quickly react to offerings at a livestock auction? A cattle-list
I was at an auction that tried to pass off a guitar as the one Prince wrote Purple Rain on. You could tell it was fake because Prince puts stars over his i's.
I’m a painter and my friend is an author
I recently did a painting and sold it at auction for a hundred dollars. At the same time my friend published a short story for the same price
I guess a picture is worth a thousand words
Why was the successful auction house shut down? Because of the high morbidity.
I just wanted to share some exciting news! Today I was the unexpected high bidder in an auction for the worlds best sounding pigeon... It is quite a coup!
What did the deaf person think when he won the auction? I’ve won, but at what cost?
When a deaf guy wins at an auction I've won... but at what cost?
Why did a painting self-destruct itself after the auction? So the artist could laugh all the way to the Banksy.
What do you call a Pakistani at an auction? Abid.