Barista Jokes

This barista at StarBucks looked so nervous as she handed me my coffee. I think she was scared because she spelt my name wrong, she wrote "callthecops".

I didn't bother leaving a tip.

Score: 406

Why does nobody ask for an AMA from a barista? Just ask on /r/philosophy

Score: 294

A Canadian walks into a cafe, and the barista asks, "Would you like a latte?" And the Canadian responds to him "Nah, just a bit, eh."

Score: 227
Funny Barista Jokes
Score: 79

Why is it impossible to electrocute a barista? Coffee grounds.

Score: 76

I went to a fancy new coffee shop today and ordered a cup I took a sip and it tasted awful.

“This coffee tastes like mud!”

The barista replied, “well, it’s fresh ground”

Score: 48

I made a Starbucks barista cry I put my name down as Dad and he stood there calling it over and over again with no reply.

Score: 36

What do you call someone who does a BA in Arts, a MA in English and a PhD in Gender Studies? A well educated Barista

Score: 27

I don't know why the barista got so angry when I knocked over her container of cash and coins... The sign said "tip jar"...

Score: 27

When born, Arnold Schwarzenegger got a job serving spaghetti for a local coffee shop. He was known as the pasta barista baby.

Score: 21

What does a barista wear? A cap and chinos.

Score: 20

A man walks into a coffee shop... A man walks into a coffee shop and asks

"I'll have a ztsherkmflurgchtrokzykk with two sugars."

Surprised, the barista answers:

"A ztsherkmflurgchtrokzykk with two *what*?!"

Score: 10

What’s the main job of a Jewish barista? He brew

Score: 10

I noticed a barista working alone in a small shop was still wearing a mask. She said, "this is a coughy filter"

Score: 10

How do you take your coffee? **Barista:** How do you take your coffee?

**Customer:** Ferguson Police

**Barista:** Huh?

**Customer:** Black, two shots.

Score: 9

I want to a cafe in Paris and was insulted by the barista. It was a regular French roast.

Score: 9

An Italian man with spells of amnesia goes into a boutique coffee shop... The barista asked what he wants, and he replies "Affogato".

Score: 8

I went to a coffee shop before work this morning. The coffee tasted like mud.
So I told the barista.
She told me it was fresh ground.

Score: 7

My grandma got a hip replacement My new grandma is a 24 year old barista and an aspiring artist.

Score: 6

The Starbucks in my town just hired a Jewish barista... He brews.

Score: 6

the barista at my coffee shop talked me into trying a funky new coffee. I took a drink and told her it tasted like dirt and she said, "well that's cuz it's fresh ground."

Score: 5

Hello, I'd like to introduce you to my friend. He's a Jewish Barista. Hebrew.

Score: 5

What does a Jewish barista do at work? Hebrew.

Score: 5

Did you hear about the barista who became really buff? She's been working on her French Press.

Score: 4

What do you call a Jewish barista? Hebrew

Score: 4

A camel Goes into the coffee shop The barista, about to add the sugar asks, "one lump or two?"

Score: 4

Earlier today at a coffee shop, I spilled my drink all over the paper I was working on. The barista looked over and said, "Well, essay chai tea happens."

Score: 3

What does a Jewish barista do? He brews!

Score: 3

TIL about Kopi Luwak, an expensive coffee made from partially digested coffee cherries defecated by the Asian palm civet. Imagine the barista's face when you go to the coffee shop then ask for a crappuccino.

Score: 3

What did the Italian barista say when he received a new car for his christmas bonus? It's a merry car, no?

Score: 3

A new barista got hired at a coffee shop. After the first month, he was still using the wrong grind settings for different brewing methods. The boss pulled him aside, shaking his head at the coffee. “These are grounds for termination,” he said.

Score: 2

Why do coffee barista always ask how do i like my coffee! Im not sure how else but, I always say. i like to drink it in a cup please.

Score: 1

Did you hear about the barista who wrote all about his life? Called it his autobiogcoffee

Score: 1

Before Chance was involved in music he was a barista at Starbucks for 5 years Chance the Frapper

Score: 1

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