Me: "I've lost my calculator." Them: "..." Them: "..and?" Me: "Oh, I've got nothing to add"
I thought about getting a pocket calculator... ...but then I realized I don't care how many pockets I have.
i watched my classmate murder our professor with a calculator it was graphic
Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church? He was invited to thunday math.
"It's what's on the inside that counts" I told my ugly daughter
As I tried to explain to her how a calculator works.
She's also stupid.
I thought about buying a pocket calculator and then I thought who care how many pockets I have
Working at a factory making huge calculator buttons isn't exactly my dreamjob, but at least my only task is to fabricate one kind of button. That's a big plus.
I think my calculator is broken... The only numbers that seem to work are 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. It's very odd.
What do you get if you cross a dog and a calculator? A friend you can count on.
My calculator stopped working and I don't know why... It just doesn't add up.
What happens when you cross a dog and a calculator? You get a friend you can count on.
My friend walks round with a broken calculator... There's just something about him that doesn't add up.
I was trying to solve an equation when I realised that the minus button on my calculator was broken... On the plus side, it still worked.
Being a Calculator must be a huge responsibility... everyone is counting on them.
A man goes to an interview for an accountant firm
“In this company, you need to be able to calculate fast without calculator”
“I’ll give it a try. Test me”
“What is 35 x 47?”
The man answers quickly “476”
“That’s not even close”
“Yeah but thats fast”
What did the detective say after finding a calculator? "Hmm... Now everything is starting to add up..."
How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher? Calculator!
A kid was begging his dad to move to California.
Dad: Give me one reason why I should agree
Kid: California starts with Cal
Dad: And?
Kid: Calculator also starts with Cal
Dad: What does that mean?
Kid: It all adds up
Man: Hi when do you use that calculator? 2nd Man: Oh, only on special equations.....
I might buy you an exploding calculator... But don't count on it.
Why couldn't the blonde add 10 + 5 on a calculator? - She couldn't find the "10" button.
Why is a calculator my best friend? Because I can always count on it.
I know why Hogwarts doesn't have math class. They have a magical device for it. It's called a calculator.
I recently had to sell my calculator manufacturing business. The numbers just weren't adding up.
Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes?
There was a sin tax error.
[8.5]
What do you call a broken fisherman's calculator. Something fishy that doesn't quite add up.
Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.
What did the loyal calculator say to its human? You can count on me!
Me: It couldn’t have been me. I was out buying a calculator the night of the murder. Detective: Well that adds up.
I was going to purchase a pocket calculator but then I thought to myself Who cares how many pockets I have.
Working at a factory for huge calculator buttons isn't exactly my dreamjob. But at least my only task is to fabricate one kind of button. That's a big plus.
Your calculator will be there for you tomorrow... You can count on it.
What does a calculator say before you close it? Calc you later!
My wife is a mathematician. I got her a calculator as an anniversary gift but she didn’t like it. It’s the thot that counts.
I can’t understand why my calculator just stopped working. It just doesn’t add up.
What do yo call an Asian Kid with a Calculator? A disgrace