Breaking News - in Hong Kong, a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying purple paint CNN reports that both crews are marooned
15 Year Old Teenager: "I love the US! It's the land of freedom and opportunity! We even have freedom of speech!" CNN: "Hold my beer."
I couldn’t figure out why the season of The Apprentice I was watching was going on for so long. Each week someone gets fired, but we never seem to get down to the final winner! Then I realized, I was just watching CNN.
CNN Poll: 50% of Bernie Sanders supporters drink whole milk, 35% drink 2% milk, and 15% drink skim milk They all hate the 1% though
CNN has just reported that Monika Lewinski will be helping with the Donald Trump for president campaign. Apparently, the last time she endorsed a Clinton, it left a bad taste in her mouth.
What's the difference between CNN and Al-Jazeera?
CNN shows the missiles taking off and Al-Jazeera shows them landing.
(Not mine, just heard it on the Jimmy Dore show)
also
"My favorite indie band is palestinian. I think they're really going to blow up."
Why did Trump cross the road? Nobody knows, but CNN reported that it was racist and caused a protest.
CNN is like coffee They spend all day getting roasted
What's the difference between CNN and Al Jazeera? CNN shows the missiles taking off and Al Jazeera shows them landing.
If CNN released photos of Stormy Daniels & Trump
Do you know what he'd call them?
Fake Nudes.
What does CNN call back-to-back aviation disasters? Christmas in July
CNN reported Donald Trump's suicide today. He didn't really kill himself, it was fake noose.
SNL should parody CNN by having Tina Fey be a news correspondent delivering headlines from a canoe. They call the segment "Fey Canoes."
Trump Administration blocked CNN, BBC, New York Times, LA Times from media briefing Looks like Little Donald needs a safe space...
My friends say that too much of today's news can be discouraging--they say my habit of constantly reloading the CNN app will make me depressed. but I think it's refreshing.
Mom: did you see how your grandfather get interviewed by CNN? me: Yea mom that’s old news
CNN Made a Joke Article for April Fools Just another day in the office.
What is a bee’s favorite news source? CNN. They hate Buzzfeed too.
CNN Drinking Game Take a drink every time someone says "too early to call", you'll be Blitzed in no time.
Not sure what to watch tonight.... American Horror Story on FX or the one on ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, CNN, CNBC and MSNBC.
The wife and I did the opposite of "netflix and chill" last night... CNN and panic!
Idiocracy is showing on Syfy and CNN right now.
CNN recently released Suggestive photos of U.S. President Donald Trump His first comments on the shocking reveal were the following: “Fake Nudes”
Why do Fox News and CNN journalists go to the same gym? It has a really great spin class.
Cringe Airlines
What happens when you combine Fox News, CNN, and a Fleshlight.
You get a plane
The right wing, the left wing, and the cockpit.
The most unrealistic part of The Martian movie was... CNN's coverage did not involve speculation about whether Joe Biden would also get stuck on Mars
CNN: "Chess grandmaster, 20, dies in parkour balcony fall" Shoulda castled earlier.
CNN recently released a new report from one of Trumps closest aides. The unnamed source has disclosed that Trump has been diagnosed with sphincter dysfunction. President Trump responded: "the news is fake, but the leaks are real."
How do you get Donald Trump to hang himself? Write PROPERTY OF CNN on the rope, and assure him it's perfectly safe, because it's fake noose.
The cable news networks tend to cater to different groups Fox News is for right wings, MSNBC is for left wings, and CNN is for plane wings.
What's the difference between the show Jackass and CNN news? Suits
CNN: TRUMP PLANS TO COMMISSION NEW U-BOAT Oops, wrong sub.
A CNN reporter tried to kill himself but it didn't work ... It was a fake noose
When you use machine learning to analyze the news.... You're training a CNN CNN.
What's the difference between CNN and Pinocchio?
When Pinocchio lies, his nose gets an erection
When CNN lies, Donald Trump gets an erection
What's the best way to know someone isn't racist? CNN said they're racist.
Why couldn't the CNN executive kill himself? Because he had a fake noose.
What did trump said when CNN called him worst than Hitler? To late for flattery