Colon Jokes

A colon in a sentence can make a huge difference For example:

Johnny ate his own lunch after school.

Johnny ate his own colon after school.

Score: 15782

The use of a colon can really change the intended meaning of a sentence. Jimmy went to school and ate his lunch

becomes

Jimmy went to school and ate his colon

Score: 13103
Funny Colon Jokes
Score: 7182

A colon can completely change a sentence. Mary ate her friend's lunch.

Mary ate her friend's colon.

Score: 2643

I dated an English teacher for a few months, but it didn't work out. She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.

Score: 368

Doctor: I’m afraid we had to remove your colon. Me Why?

Score: 366

I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me. I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me.


She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.

Score: 296

Doctor: I had to take your colon. Me why?

Score: 283

I used to date my english teacher but she broke up with me due to incorrect use of the colon

Score: 209

I read that a banana a day helps to keep your colon clean... I just wish they'd told me I was supposed to eat them...

Score: 156

Doctor: We had to remove your colon. Patient Why?

Score: 150

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jane ate her friend's lung

Jane ate her friend's colon.

Score: 134

A colon in a sentence can make a huge difference For example:

Sam ate his own lunch after school.

Sam ate his own colon after school.

Score: 96

Doctor: I had to remove your colon Me Why?

Score: 74

Wife says "sorry I have my period". I said "that's ok honey, that's what the colon is for"!

Score: 73

Who did Santa approach when he wanted to get a divorce? The Semi colon. They're good at separating independent clauses.

Score: 66

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jane ate her friend's lunch.


Jane ate her friend's colon.

Score: 54

Doctor: We're going to need to remove your colon Me: OK, whatever you have to do to make me better
*six hours later*
Doctor: we're really sorry, but the operation wasn't successful. We only manage to remove half of your colon
Me; oh no...

Score: 34

What happened to the semi colon who broke the law? He got given two consecutive sentences

Score: 21

A colon can really change the meaning of a sentence. An example:

I ate my friend's lunch.

I ate my friend's colon.

Score: 17

I failed medical school for the same reason I failed English class Improper: Colon placement

Score: 15

A man wakes up after being rushed to the ER. Doctor: Ok, so we had to remove your colon after the accident

Man why?

Score: 13

I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me... She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.

Score: 11

Two guys were chatting in the bar "So how's it go with that chick last night? She was an English teacher , right?"

"Yeah, she got dressed and left a few minutes after we got in bed"

"Shame. Why'd she do so?"

"I guess she didn't like my improper use of the colon."

Score: 10

I: went::: to:: the: doctor's:::: today:: I:: have::: colon: cancer::

Score: 9

I went to the doctors for my physical last week... While the doctor was checking my colon, I told him to put another finger in there...I wanted a second opinion.

Score: 9

If you survive colon cancer Are you only left with a semi colon?

Score: 8

I read that a banana a day, helps to keep your colon clean... I just wish someone had told me I was supposed to eat them...

Score: 8

I was told that bananas keep the colon clean. I just wish they had told me you are supposed to eat them.

Score: 8

Dr : we had to remove your colon me why?

Score: 8

What do English teachers and my girlfriend have in common? They both yell at me for misusing the colon.

Score: 5

What do you Get when you Swallow a Golf ball? A Colon 1.

Score: 5

What disease occurs because someone uses too much punctuation? Colon Cancer

Score: 4

Dogged I used to go out with an English Teacher but we eventually broke up because she disliked my improper use of the colon.

Score: 4

Why did the strict grammaticians break up? He missed a colon, she missed a period, and they both hated contractions.

Score: 3

My mate just told me he needs major surgery: he's having half his intestine removed. Edit: Grammar should have used a semi-colon

Score: 2

Colons can drastically change the meanings of sentences, far more than commas. For example,

I come in a car

I come in a colon

Score: 2

If you pierce my colon with your stick, you'll divide me.

Score: 1

What is a doctors favorite punctuation mark? A colon

Score: 1

Doctor: We’ve successfully removed a part of your colon Me; What?!

Score: 1

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