A colon in a sentence can make a huge difference
For example:
Johnny ate his own lunch after school.
Johnny ate his own colon after school.
The use of a colon can really change the intended meaning of a sentence.
Jimmy went to school and ate his lunch
becomes
Jimmy went to school and ate his colon
A colon can completely change a sentence.
Mary ate her friend's lunch.
Mary ate her friend's colon.
I dated an English teacher for a few months, but it didn't work out. She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.
Doctor: I’m afraid we had to remove your colon. Me Why?
I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me.
I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me.
She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.
Doctor: I had to take your colon. Me why?
I used to date my english teacher but she broke up with me due to incorrect use of the colon
I read that a banana a day helps to keep your colon clean... I just wish they'd told me I was supposed to eat them...
Doctor: We had to remove your colon. Patient Why?
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example:
Jane ate her friend's lung
Jane ate her friend's colon.
A colon in a sentence can make a huge difference
For example:
Sam ate his own lunch after school.
Sam ate his own colon after school.
Doctor: I had to remove your colon Me Why?
Wife says "sorry I have my period". I said "that's ok honey, that's what the colon is for"!
Who did Santa approach when he wanted to get a divorce? The Semi colon. They're good at separating independent clauses.
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example:
Jane ate her friend's lunch.
Jane ate her friend's colon.
Doctor: We're going to need to remove your colon
Me: OK, whatever you have to do to make me better
*six hours later*
Doctor: we're really sorry, but the operation wasn't successful. We only manage to remove half of your colon
Me; oh no...
What happened to the semi colon who broke the law? He got given two consecutive sentences
A colon can really change the meaning of a sentence.
An example:
I ate my friend's lunch.
I ate my friend's colon.
I failed medical school for the same reason I failed English class Improper: Colon placement
A man wakes up after being rushed to the ER.
Doctor: Ok, so we had to remove your colon after the accident
Man why?
I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me... She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.
Two guys were chatting in the bar
"So how's it go with that chick last night? She was an English teacher , right?"
"Yeah, she got dressed and left a few minutes after we got in bed"
"Shame. Why'd she do so?"
"I guess she didn't like my improper use of the colon."
I: went::: to:: the: doctor's:::: today:: I:: have::: colon: cancer::
I went to the doctors for my physical last week... While the doctor was checking my colon, I told him to put another finger in there...I wanted a second opinion.
If you survive colon cancer Are you only left with a semi colon?
I read that a banana a day, helps to keep your colon clean... I just wish someone had told me I was supposed to eat them...
I was told that bananas keep the colon clean. I just wish they had told me you are supposed to eat them.
Dr : we had to remove your colon me why?
What do English teachers and my girlfriend have in common? They both yell at me for misusing the colon.
What do you Get when you Swallow a Golf ball? A Colon 1.
What disease occurs because someone uses too much punctuation? Colon Cancer
Dogged I used to go out with an English Teacher but we eventually broke up because she disliked my improper use of the colon.
Why did the strict grammaticians break up? He missed a colon, she missed a period, and they both hated contractions.
My mate just told me he needs major surgery: he's having half his intestine removed. Edit: Grammar should have used a semi-colon
Colons can drastically change the meanings of sentences, far more than commas.
For example,
I come in a car
I come in a colon
If you pierce my colon with your stick, you'll divide me.
What is a doctors favorite punctuation mark? A colon
Doctor: We’ve successfully removed a part of your colon Me; What?!