Concussion Jokes

John has 20 watermelons and tim has none. John threw one watermelon at tim, what does tim have now? A concussion.

Score: 211

What do you call a head injury at a drummer's convention in Moscow, Russia? A concussion at the Russian percussion discussion.

Score: 76

Last year Hillary got a concussion. Obama recently bumped into Clinton and asked "Bill, how is Hillary's head?" "Not as good as Monica"

Score: 31

After a night of drinking, John walks into a metal bar The music was great and he hooks up with a beautiful blonde.

He awakes at the hospital with a mild concussion.

Score: 21

A wise man once told me that you should love with your heart and use your head for everything else He died of a concussion

Score: 7

A mailman, a boy, and a unicorn walk into a bar. The woman gets a concussion, some stitches, and a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder.

Score: 6

A very tall and handsome man walks into a bar and suffers a mild concussion.

Score: 6
Funny Concussion Jokes
Score: 6

A guy walks into a bar -- and sustains a mild concussion.

Score: 4

A guy runs into a bar... and gets a concussion.

Score: 4

What does autocorrect and women have in common? They both jump to concussion

Score: 3

How do you give a vampire a concussion? Hit it with a bat

Score: 3

A man ran into a bar... And died of concussion.

Score: 3

18th Century Arms Dealer Receives Concussion on First Day at Work A burgeoning blunderbuss broker braved and bore the brunt of a bludgeoning to the brain.

Score: 3

Girl, did you fall out of heaven? Cause you're showing signs of deranged cognitive abilities in your brain highly suggestive of Post-concussion syndrome.

Score: 2

A man walks into a bar It was a metal one. He hit his head and got a concussion

Score: 2

A heavy metal fan walks into a heavy metal bar. He gets a concussion.

Score: 2

I fell and hit my head on my drum set today... Me: Dad, I think I have a concussion
Dad: No son, you have a PER-cussion

Score: 2

A man walks into a bar He suffered a minor concussion.

Score: 2

Two Giants walk into a bar One gets a concussion, and the other breaks right through.

Score: 2

Why did the Doctor think the Panda had a concussion? It kept calling saying its head was fuzzy.

Score: 2

I had my third concussion yesterday Well, I think it was my third

Score: 2

Three blondes walk into a bar Two walked away fine, the third got a concussion
(I'm aware this is a crappy joke)
😂

Score: 2

Doctor! I think I have a concussion! Doctor: "Dont worry, Its all in your head"

Score: 1

A man walks into a bar.. he suffered a mild concussion

Score: 1

I was training to be a maths teacher until a concussion regressed my ability to when I was 12. I suppose its back to 1^2.

Score: 1

News alert : “Years of heavy hitting gives NFL players head concussion.” Such evidence was noted after one of these heavy hitters, Bradley Bigbones Bradshaw was having trouble counting how many rolls royce he has.

Score: 1

2 People walk into a bar They both go to the hostpital soon after due to a concussion

Score: 1

A man walks into a bar. And gets hospitalized for a concussion.

Score: 1

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