Creepy Jokes

Two men in a park. A creepy guy walks up to another man in a park.
Creepy guy leans close to the man and whispers "do you have any naked photos of your wife?"

The man angrily says "certainly not".

Creepy guy says "would you like to buy some?"

Score: 97
Funny Creepy Jokes
Score: 54

They were going to make an iWatch for kids but iWatch Kids sounds a bit creepy.

Score: 54

A child and a creepy old man were walking through the woods one night. “I’m scared,” the child said.

“*You’re* scared?” the old man replied. “I gotta walk back alone!”

Score: 49

Why did the creepy hipster get arrested? because he was following people before instagram

Score: 45

What do you call a disabled paedolphile? A creepy crawly

Score: 38

Man this rorschach guy is really creepy He keeps drawing pictures of my parents arguing

Score: 30

Given infinite time, a million monkeys with a million typewriters will eventually become a very creepy room filled with an equal count of typewriters and monkey skeletons

Score: 25

A woman is walking through the woods at night with a serial killer. She says to her companion, "Man, this forest is really creepy at night. I wish we weren't out here."

He replies, "You think you have it bad? I have to walk home alone!"

Score: 23

Said this at dinner last night. Bit creepy, but laughs were had.

"He may die a virgin but he ain't gonna be buried one."

Score: 22

I walked into a Victoria's Secret a man and came out a knight. From this day forward I shall be known as Sir- please leave you're being creepy.

Score: 22

An Old man and young boy walk into the woods... ... The young boy looks up to the old man and says "Gee Mister these woods sure are creepy!" The old man looks down and says "You're telling me! I have to go out of here alone!"

Score: 20

Father and young son walking deep into the woods at night carrying a lantern and a shovel Son says "Dad it's creepy out here, I'm scared"

Father replies "You're scared? I'm the one who has to walk back alone!"

Score: 16

A clown and another guy are walking through the forest at night. The guy says to the clown "Man, this forest is really creepy at night". The clown says "No kidding, and I have to walk all the way back by myself."

Score: 14

Double standards are not fair! When miley cirus gets naked and licks hammers its beautiful and artistic, but when I do it its weird, creepy and I get a life time ban from Ikea.

Score: 11

I've been watching my new neighbor through the blinds now for over a week. He's so creepy.

Score: 9

What do you call a disabled paedophile? A creepy crawly

Score: 8

A little boy and a clown are walking in the deep, dark, woods. The little boy says, "Mister, I'm scared! These woods are really creepy." The clown replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back all by myself."

Score: 8

A father and his son were walking into a dark forest at night... ...and the son looks up to his dad and says, "Dad, this forest is creepy and I am scared."

The dad scoffs and replies, "Well, you think you're scared now? I'm the one who has to walk out of here alone."

Score: 8

A father and his young son are walking deep in the woods at night with a lantern and a shovel The son says, "Dad it's creepy out here, I'm scared"
The father replies, "You're scared? I'm the one who has to walk back alone!"

Score: 8

My gf said she was being spyed on by a creepy guy she dont know I've started choosing better hiding spots.

Score: 8

If Bill Cosby is America's dad... Does that make him Canada's creepy uncle?

Score: 7

What do you call creepy wind chimes? Stranger Tings

Score: 7

My dog has a creepy obsession with trees All he ever does is talk about their skin

Score: 6

If you play a Coldplay song backwards, you'll hear a lot of creepy, Satanic chanting in Latin But if you play a Coldplay song the normal way, you'll hear something much worse. A Coldplay song.

Score: 6

What do you call the creepy bugs in your home that mooch off you? Depend-Ants!

​

P.S. My wife and kids won't talk to me anymore..

Score: 6

Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a super creepy movie.

Score: 5

Why are forests so creepy? Because the trees are all shady.

Score: 5

What do you call a paedophile with no legs? A creepy crawly!

Score: 4

I have such bad luck getting a girl to come over... I watched the video from "The Ring" and the creepy chick called seven days later and said something came up and she couldn't make it.

Score: 4

How do creepy songwriters get paid? Per verse

Score: 3

There are two types of people that I hate the most. One, there are racists;

the other, there are creepy, disgusting blue-skinned elves who are the enemy to the humankind.

Score: 3

I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice "do you know haw many people are buried in that cemetery?" I was like nooo? He rasped, "All of them!"

Score: 2

So apparently i was knighted at Victoria's Secret today. . . . . Thus I shall henceforth be known as, Sir Will You Please Leave You're Being Creepy.

Score: 2

We all have the creepy friend If your group doesn't seem to have one, its you

Score: 1

I was stalked for hours by a creepy dude who kept following me everywhere and drawing pictures of me He was really sketching me out.

Score: 1

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