Danish Jokes

Funny Danish Jokes
Score: 447

What is the area at the Danish/German border called? The DaneGer zone!

I'll show myself out.

Score: 79

Translated from danish: 2 drunk sits in a bar. One says: My dog keeps chasing people on a bicycle.....



The other guy things for a bit then replies: Then why don't you take the bicycle from it?.... (c:

Score: 32

Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out? I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them.

Score: 10

What do you call a Danish Sniper? A Denmarksmen

Score: 9

Why do Danish ships have barcodes on them So they can scandanavian

Score: 9

Why did the cannibal go to Copenhagen? He wanted to eat some Danish.

Score: 8

How would the world look if it were ruled by the Danish? It would be a Pastryarchal Society

Score: 8

Fun fact: Popeye the Sailor Man isn't actually all that strong by Danish or Norwegian standards... ... but he's strong to the Finnish!

Score: 6

Why does the Danish navy have barcodes on all their ships? So they can Scandinavian.

Score: 6

I spoke to a Danish friend today I told him I wanted to buy his house. But he didn’t agree. Weird guy. Won’t be visiting him any time soon.

Score: 5

What’s a cannibals favorite dessert? A danish...

Score: 5

What's the biggest similarity between a bottle of Draino and a Danish stripper? They both slowly remove clogs.


^^They're ^^also ^^both ^^in ^^a ^^barrel ^^in ^^my ^^garage.

Score: 4

Arent a donut and a danish the same thing? Well they are both synonym rolls!!

Score: 4

Netflix's new show is Marvel's Luke Cage, whose "Superpower is unbreakable skin. Bullet proof skin on a black man isn't a super power its straight up evolution!

-Danish Anwar

Score: 4

How do you say "prison lingo" in one word? Danish

Score: 4

It turns out I'm Norwegian, Swedish, and Danish Apparently there's more, but I can't Finnish.

Score: 4

Did you hear about the guys who built fake chickens and sold them on the Danish market? They really made a kylling

Score: 3

‪I once ate a Danish pastry. She’s an air hostess..‬

Score: 3

That Danish guy that killed a journalist on his submarine.. He must have known he was going down right?

Score: 2

How do speakers of Dutch, English, French and Danish communicate with each other? They speak Mumble-Saxon.

Score: 2

A Danish family are having lunch. The youngest person, a 3 year-old, eats all his food and then says "I am finish!", as he couldn't talk properly.

​

His mum replies >!How dare you! We are Danish, not Finnish!!<

Score: 2

I was making some Scandinavian pastries but discovered afterwards that I didn't use enough sugar. So I ended up with sweet-ish Danish.

Score: 1

A cannibal and a vegetarian go to lunch. They both order a Danish.

Score: 1

What do you call a proud Danish countryman? A pastriot.

Score: 1

A danish with one hole in the middle is a donut. A danish with two holes in the middle is... Most likely dead

Score: 1

Why does the Danish navy have barcodes on the side of their ships? So when they dock they can Scandinavian.

Score: 1

What did the job market for Danish toll collectors do after the Germans got into the canal-digging business? It Kiel-ed over and does.

Score: 1

A Danish man told me a joke once It goes like this

*clears throat*

Score: 1

Why does the Danish Navy have barcodes on them? So when they dock they can Scandinavi-an

Score: 1

A waiter asks a man sitting at a table “did you finis...” The man interrupts the waiter, “no I’m Danish”

Score: 0

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