Define Jokes

Funny Define Jokes
Score: 89

My professor asked me to define narcissism I said "It's the belief you are as perfect and infallible as I am."

Score: 75

Doctor: are you active sexually? Patient: define active, cause some active volcanoes didn't explode in hundreds of years.

Doctor: I'll write virgin.

Score: 73

Define Irony: The opposite of wrinkly

Score: 17

So what if I can't define armageddon It's not like it's the end of the world!

Score: 15

How do you define necrophilia? The urge to crack open a cold one

Score: 14

Why did the bodybuilder borrow a dictionary? Because he wanted to know how to define muscle.

Score: 12

What’s the difference between a Gardener and an electrician? Ask them to define the word “bulb”.

Score: 12

At my exam on religion I was given a multiple choice question to define atheism Eventually I checked "none of the above."

Score: 9

I can't define "pattern matching" ...but I know it when I see it.

Score: 8

Define: Politics (poli) many (tics) blood-sucking insects

Score: 7

How do you define political correctness? Carefully.

Score: 7

One day, at Webster Dictionary's Word Assignment Briefing... "Nichols," Mr. Lipney, lead word assigner, said, "I'm trusting you to define plethora for next year's edition."

"Thanks Mr. Lipney," Nichols responds, beaming. "It means a lot!"

Score: 6

Define the lecturer Teacher to Student: Can you define the lecturer?

Student: A lecturer is person who has bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping.

Score: 5

Thanks to everyone who helped me define the word 'many' It means a lot.

Score: 5

I'm sick of numbers defining me - gpa
- sat score
- grades
- weight
- first-degree murder convictions

these things don't define who I am.

Score: 4

The job interviewer asked me to define turnover. I said, "That's what I do before I go to sleep."

Score: 4

If I had to define the word "controlling"... I'd make sure I got my boyfriend's approval of the definition first.

Score: 4

My English teacher asked to “define money”. I responded “something you don’t have”.

Score: 4

Baby you make me wish I was good at calculus. Cauz they ain't no limit to how much I want to define the area under your curves.

Score: 4

A guy asks Alexa to define "rendezvous"... Alexa: As a noun, rendezvous is usually defined as an agreement between two or more persons to meet at a certain time and place.

Guy: Spell it.

Alexa: It is spelled, I. T.

Score: 4

How many academics does it take to change a light bulb? >!Define light bulb. !<

Score: 4

"Bigamy" is defined as having one wife too many... Some people define "marriage" the same way.

Score: 4

Define true love... Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.

Score: 3

How do you define a bad breakup? With respect to x.

Score: 3

In three words, how would I define myself? By eating less.

Score: 3

Define contraceptive pill? It's the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth to avoid Pregnancy!

Score: 3

I’ve been ridiculed by both sides for not picking an ideology. The very fact that I can’t clearly define which way I roll seems to enrages people. I don’t pay attention to how I put the toilet paper on.

Score: 3

Yo mama so fat Calculus still ain't been able to define the area under curves

Score: 3

Define : Irony Getting pregnant on a "pull-out" couch!

Score: 3

Once in a lifetime opportunity… Unknown: Define once in a lifetime opportunity.
Unknown: A mosquito, landing on your wife's face.

Score: 1

How would I define myself in three words? By eating less.

Score: 1

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