Depressing Jokes

I heard that they have dogs now that can smell if you've got cancer That must be the most depressing dog ever to take on a walk. "Your dog really likes me" "I'm so sorry."

Score: 11209

Stop sending toys to children in Africa It's gotta be depressing, getting a Tamagotchi that will outlive you.

Score: 290
Funny Depressing Jokes
Score: 158

It's depressing to hear that a child can drown in just 2 inches of water. I mean it's 2019. Why aren't we using metric yet?

Score: 93

All of the fortune tellers I've met are either really depressing or overly enhusiastic. Why can't I find a happy medium?

Score: 68

Why is North Korea so depressing? Because it ain't got no Seoul.

Score: 43

Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa? Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you.

Score: 41

Edgy jokes are like my life Sad and depressing but people still manage to laugh at it.

Score: 38

Facebook So I was in a public library and saw a homeless man I had seen around town on facebook.
It got pretty depressing because the page wouldn't load every time he tried to click 'home'...

Score: 37

Being married to a photographer is depressing... ...they're always looking at the negatives.

Score: 36

My life was depressing and miserable but I turned that around, Now it's miserable and depressing.

Score: 23

I went to a really depressing wedding recently. Even the cake was in tiers.

Score: 19

I used to find window shopping depressing..... then I visited Amsterdam.

Score: 12

My friends like meaningless, depressing, and sad jokes. That's why they like me

Score: 12

Pooping is depressing... You just sit there til you feel empty inside...

Score: 9

Adrian Peterson just announced his retirement from the NFL and will be joining the Minnesota Twins as a switch hitter.

(Sorry, news was too depressing not to joke about it)

Score: 7

I wanted to tell a depressing, sad joke that was hilarious So I phoned up Trump and said "that was hilarious"

Score: 6

Everybody says the World is depressing Well, it is bipolar...

Score: 6

What would the most depressing game show be? Biggest Loser: All-Stars.

Score: 5

Today my dad died in a scuba accident It was a very depressing situation

Score: 5

I quit my button-pushing job today... It was too depressing.

Score: 5

I Squash soft drink cans for a living It's soda pressing

Note: just made this up in the shower when I was thinking about how "so depressing" sounds like "soda pressing"

Score: 5

Studying waveforms as a dyslexic can be depressing. When I can't calculat lambda, I just feel sinusoidal.

Score: 5

While playing the depressing part of a videogame, my close pal Xavier suddenly starts massaging my crotch I've never been so touched on an emotional level.

Score: 4

The thing I hate about crushing cans It's soda depressing.

Score: 4

My brother is terribly sick, so we are collecting 7000$..... So that I can travel across the country. Too depressing living with that sick kid

Score: 4

Toys R Us More like Toys Were Us (insert depressing drum roll here)

Score: 4

I walked into an old defunct Nike store today. The place was depressing because- there wasn't a sole in sight.

Score: 4

I was going to make a depressing joke. But my parents already made one.

Score: 4

I heard that they have dogs now that can smell if you've got cancer....... but I just thought that must be the most depressing dog ever to take on a walk. "Your dog really likes me!!!" "I'm so sorry."

Score: 3

If ghosts were real.. my basement would be like a depressing school disco

Score: 3

A meteorologist walks into a small bar. It was depressing

Score: 2

I had a job crushing cans it was so depressing

Score: 1

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