Diabetic Jokes

Funny Diabetic Jokes
Score: 1249

My doctor told me today that I was too sweet. Well, her exact words were, "severely diabetic", but I knew what she meant.

Score: 234

NASA Scientists say its possible to live on Mars. Bullshit, I tried it and now I'm 15Kg heavier and diabetic

Score: 67

What does a diabetic neckbeard need to survive? Incelin

Score: 48

A diabetic kid died during the night. His mother wished him "sweet dreams" before sleep.

Score: 25

What do you call a cow with no legs? My severely diabetic Aunt Linda.

Score: 18

Yesterday, I saw a guy harassing a diabetic who recently had parts of his foot amputated. I guess the first guy was lack toes intolerant.

Score: 11

A diabetic friend I was talking to my diabetic friend the other day. He said, "this new high sugar diet I'm on is great! I lost 30 pounds already. Cost me an arm and a leg though..."

Score: 9

How do you beat a diabetic rapper in a rap battle Candy Bars

Score: 9

What does a diabetic's blood taste like? Sweet irony

Score: 8

I am both dyslexic and diabetic... So needless to say I fell in love with the idea of "All You Can Eat Carb Legs".

Score: 7

What's forbidden to diabetic vampires sweethearts

Score: 7

Pikachu is type electric, Charmander is type fire Snorlax is type 2 diabetic

I'll show myself to the door.

Score: 6

What do you call a cow with no legs? My fat, diabetic sister.

Score: 6

Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you're diabetic, then insulin is pretty high on the list.

Score: 5

After a year long struggle, my diabetic uncle just had both legs amputated below the ankle.... I guess you could say he was de-feeted.

Score: 5

If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, what does drinking Fanta make you? diabetic

Score: 5

My diabetic friend had a serious emergency last night. My bad.

I texted her "Goodnight, sweet dreams" before going to bed.

Score: 5

Why did the diabetic win the weight lifting competition? Because he was so good at pumping.

Score: 4

My mum always hated my dad for using thousands of dollars to shoot drugs up his arm. I kept telling her he was diabetic but she didn't care

Score: 4

Class trip to the coca-cola company factory I hope there's no pop quiz


Cause I'm diabetic

Score: 4

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates It sucks if you are diabetic.

Score: 4

A doctor flirted with me today, she said I was really sweet! I think she meant I was really sweet, she worded it differently and said “you’re severely diabetic” but I know what she meant. She said I’m type 2 and I told her she’s my type too

Score: 4

Thought about putting a diabetic joke but... Some people think they are insul'in

Score: 3

Hitler is walking in an extermination camp with the camp manager.. "Why is there such a sweet smell in the air?" Hitler asked.
"Today we're burning the diabetic" answered the manager.

Edit: Spelling.

Score: 3

What is black and smells like caramel? A diabetic after a flat fire

Score: 3

What does a diabetic neckbeard inject himself with? Incel-in

Score: 3

A mom wishing her diabetic son to die She tell him every night sweet dreams

Score: 3

What do you never tell your diabetic son? Sweet dreams.

Score: 3

What do you give to a diabetic misogynist? Incelin.

Score: 3

I lost 10 lbs a week!! My secret??? Turns out I'm diabetic...

Score: 2

Why did the type 1 diabetic sue the man who put sodium in her food? It was a salt.

Score: 1

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