Doctor Doctor Jokes

Funny Doctor Doctor Jokes
Score: 1404

"Doctor doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me!" "Next please."

Score: 17

"Doctor doctor I think I'm going deaf." "What are the symptoms?"


"A yellow cartoon family."

Score: 17

Doctor doctor, I only have 59 seconds to live! Be with you in a minute

Score: 16

DOCTOR DOCTOR Doctor Doctor, I can't feel my legs!
Yes, I'm very sorry Mr Smith, we had to amputate your arms

Score: 15

Doctor Doctor I can't feel my legs !!!! Well i'm not really surprised, we cut your arms off .

Score: 13

Patient: ‘Doctor doctor! I only have 59 seconds to live!’ Doctor: Hang on a minute

Score: 9

Doctor doctor... ...I feel like a tree.

Doctor: *arms folded/quizzical look on his face* Ok. Stand up straight please and raise your arms slowly.

Me: *reluctantly does as asked*

Doctor: Ahhh I see, don’t worry. It looks like you’re branching out.

Score: 6

Doctor doctor Patient: Doctor doctor, I think i’m becoming alcoholic.
Doctor: Do you drink Whiskey?
Patient: All right then. I’ll have one if you have one.

Score: 5

*knocks on doctors office* Doctor doctor I can't get my wife pregnant Doctor:Why don't you come inside?

Score: 5

A man goes to the doctor... And says 'doctor doctor! You gotta help me! Every time I have tea I get a sharp pain in my eye!'
The doctor looks at him. 'The next time you have tea,' he says, 'take the spoon out of the cup first.'

Score: 4

Doctor Doctor! I'm turning invisible! Yes.. I can see your not all there..

Score: 3

Doctor Doctor "Help, I just keep on shrinking!"

"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."

Score: 3

"Doctor doctor!, there's a man on the phone who claims he's invisible!" "Well tell him I can't see him right now".

Score: 3

Doctor doctor I've only got 15 seconds to live Hold on mate I'll just be a minute and I'll be right with you

Score: 2

Doctor Doctor Patient: Doctor Doctor, I'm having trouble perspiring, can you help me?

Doctor: Sure, no sweat.

Score: 2

Doctor Doctor !! Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine."

Score: 2

Doctor Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a robot that has to take an exam to become human. Doctor: Don't worry, it'll pass.

Score: 2

A man wakes up... A man wakes up in the hospital after a horrible car accident. Suddenly, he yells "DOCTOR DOCTOR I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS". The doctor rushes in, stating "I know! I had to amputate your arms!"

Score: 2

A patient walks into a doctors office... "Doctor Doctor! I feel like a deck of cards!" says the patient

"Sit down I'll deal with you later" he replies.

Score: 2

I had to go to the Doctor today... I got their early and already his office was very busy. I saw him walking in the door and said "Doctor Doctor, I feel like I'm becoming invisible." He replied "Sorry I can't see you today."

Score: 2

A man goes to the Doctor's "Doctor Doctor, I think I've turned into a dog!"

"Alright" the Doctor says "Get up on the couch and let me have have a look at you"

"But i can't, I'm not allowed!"

Score: 2

An amnesiac walks into a hospitality He shakes the doctors hand and says,

“Doctor Doctor I think I’m an..”

“Amnesiac?” interrupts the doctor.

“However did you know?”

“You’ve been shaking my hand for the past ten minutes

Score: 2

A man walks into the doctors office A man walks into the doctors office and says: doctor doctor I keep bursting into song!

doctor:you have Tom Jones syndrome

man:Tom Jones syndrome? Is it rare?

Doctor:it’s not unusual

Score: 2

Doctor Doctor... “I keep getting people's jobs wrong."
"Anything else?"
"Yeah, and a pound of carrots please, mate".

Score: 1

Doctor doctor please help, everyone is ignoring me! Doctor: ‘next please!’

Score: 1

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