Hacker Jokes

Funny Hacker Jokes
Score: 209

What do you call a hacker who can see the future? A 4chan teller.

Score: 191

My bank account was hacked!!! The hacker was so disappointed, he started a fundraiser for me.

Score: 183

Officer: Where did the hacker escape to? Me: I don't know, he just ransomware.

Score: 174

I broke up with my girlfriend, Ruth.. Now her friends call me ruthless.

EDIT: Got hacked. Password and emailed changed, this post was changed to something else for a brief period by the hacker.

Score: 68

A police officer is chasing a hacker He loses track of him in the streets and asks a passerby:
-Where is he,where is the hacker!?
-I don't know,he ransomware.

Score: 29

I just got scammed by a hacker from Cairo... I guess you could say I've been E-gipped.

Score: 28

Two admins meet at work "A friend of mine was able to shut down the main server just in 5 minutes!"
"Wow. He is a hacker?"
"No. Just an idiot."

Score: 24

Where did the hacker go? I don't know, he ransomware

Score: 24

A failed tv presenter, a disgraced newspaper editor and a phone hacker walk into a bar.... ..and the barman says "What'll it be, Piers?"

Score: 23

Why hasn't the wanacry hacker gotten caught yet? He ransomware

Score: 21

Officer: How did the hacker escape? Me: I don't know he just ransomware.

Score: 14

What is it called when a hacker poops? Logging out

Score: 13

Officer: Where is the hacker? Me: I don't know, he just ransomware

Score: 12

So the Hacker group Anonymous just declared war on ISIS and Al-Queida Quite ironic that terrorists will be killed by 72 virgins.

Score: 8

I'm an internet hacker, when I'm not home I leave a sign on my door 'Gone phishing'

Score: 7

Officer, where did the hacker go? I don’t know, he ransomware

Score: 6

Officer, how did the hacker escape? Dunno, he just ransomware.

Score: 5

There was a catastrophic cyber attack recently... The government is still looking for the hacker. They think he ran some ware.

Score: 5

How did the hacker escape? He just ransomeware.

Score: 5

There's a support group for burned-out hacker/activists who want to give up the habit. It's called Anonymous Anonymous.

Score: 4

How does a Russian hacker get its malware onto the NSA's computers? By in-Stalin it.

Score: 4

Where did the hacker go? Idk, he ransomeware.

Score: 4

How did the hacker kill himself? Overddos.

Score: 3

What's a hacker's favourite brand of sportswear? A D-DOS.

Score: 3

what did the hacker say when he lost his virginity? I'm in

Score: 3

I know where the WannaCry ransomware hacker is He ransomwhere

Score: 3

Did you hear about the hacker who lives upstairs instead of his mom's basement? That dude is on a different level.

Score: 3

How are feminists and bad hacker groups similar? Both can't take down anything.

Score: 2

What did the hacker do when the police came for him? He ransomware.

Score: 2

My career as a hacker was short lived after I made a suit out of envelopes and climbed through my neighbours windows. Mailwear

Score: 2

Who was the most famous hacker in history? Lizzie Borden.

Score: 2

What did the hacker say at the congressional hearing? "I will answer any related queries to disassembly"

Score: 2

I am part of a like minded hacker group. We are synonymous!

Score: 2

What did the hacker do on his day off? He went Phishing

Score: 1

Why do hacker types sleep in till late in the morning? Because the early bird gets the worm.

Score: 1

What do you call a cat on the computer? A hacker

Score: 1

A hacker locked a bank's financial information down and demanded payment to decrypt them. Police tried to catch him but he ransomeware.

Score: 1

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