My girl keeps having disturbed dreams, shouting things like "Hobbit!", "Gandalf!", and "Mordor!". Always Tolkien in her sleep...
A human, an elf and a dwarf walk into a bar... The Hobbit laughs and walks under it.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate? He was afraid the ring would give him away.
So an elf walked into a bar... The hobbit laughed and walked under it.
Why did the Hobbit put his phone on silent? Because he was bored of the rings!
What do hobbit homes with no entrances need? More doors.
It's ok to turn one good book into three bad movies every once in a while... Just don't make a Hobbit of it.
I'm not saying it's hot in my house... ...but a hobbit just threw a ring through the front door.
What do you call a Hobbit who works in advertising?
Billboard Baggins
(From my son (9) who just finished Fellowship of the Ring and is well on his way to being a dad with jokes like this).
Last night I was dreaming...
So last night I was dreaming that I was writing *The Hobbit* and *The Lord of the Rings* books but my wife complained that I was very loud and disturbed her sleep.
Apparently I was tolkien in my sleep.
What do you call an overweight hobbit's belly? His Middle Girth
A hobbit always sets his cellphone to vibrate. Because he’s afraid the ring would give him away.
Two elves walk into a bar A hobbit walks under and laughs
Why couldn't Frodo drop the Ring into Mt. Doom? Force of Hobbit.
According to 'The Hobbit', Gollum was once a normal man.
The biggest mistake he made was putting on that ring, which drained him of his youth, vitality, and energy.
I got one of those when I was married.
An elf walks into a bar. (LOTR) The hobbit laughed and walked under it.
I had I dream I wrote The Hobbit, and Lord of the Rings trilogy. I was Tolkien in my sleep.
What did the drunken hobbit say when he bumped into a wizard? sauromon, didnt see you there.
I'd like two tickets, please.
- Is it for The Hobbit?
- No, she's my girlfriend.
I think three movies is a bit much for the hobbit. Seems like they're really dragon it out.
I was buying tickets with a friend at the cinema
Staff: "for the hobbit?"
Me. : "no, she's my friend"
Every time Galndalf sees a Hobbit he calls them Frodo. He doesn't have Alzheimer's disease, he just does it out of force of Hobbit.
What do you call an annoying hobbit? Douchebaggins
What do you call a Hobbit who is too full of himself? Bilbo Braggins.
How do hobbit flowers grow? Through Frodo-synthesis.
I used to be a fan of reading Tolkien But then I kicked the hobbit
A man went to the movie..
A man went to the movie theater's ticket window a second time and said, "One more."
"For The Hobbit?" the ticket vendor asked.
"No," the man replied, "That's my girlfriend."
What do you call 13 dwarves and a hobbit inside a mountain? A *smaugasbord*.
Just bought the extended version of The Hobbit. Bilbo is 7' 6" now.
Why did the hobbit fall He had a Frodoian slip
Didja hear the one about the hobbit who ruined the boxing match? He tried to destroy the ring.
Tolkein in puns Is a very bad hobbit.
Do you think Daniel Radcliffe could ever play a hobbit? No, but Elijah would.
What do you call it when someone likes Lord Of The Rings way too much? A Bad Hobbit.
What happens when Smaug gets a cold and coughs up a hobbit? He becomes Dragon Ball Wheeze.
What'd the hobbit say when the trees started to dance? That's ENT-ertainment!