Insomnia Jokes

What do you get when you combine insomnia, dyslexia and agnosticism? Someone who lies awake at night, wondering if there is a dog.

Edit: A word

Score: 298
Funny Insomnia Jokes
Score: 177

My horse has insomnia and keeps every one awake. She's a nightmare

Score: 112

I just found out insomnia is illegal in my home town. They call it resisting a rest.

Score: 82

I really hate having insomnia, still, on the plus side... Only one more sleep until christmas!

Score: 68

I'm trying to raise a horse but she has insomnia. It's a nightmare.

Score: 64

[Little bit racist] why do New Zealanders... Have insomnia? Because every time they start counting sheep they get too horny to sleep.

Score: 48

A Russian doctor is treating his patient. *"Take this for insomnia... take this for depression... and take this for anxiety."*

*"Thank you Doctor, but do you have any other medicine besides Vodka?"*

Score: 44

What does a dyslexic atheist with insomnia do? Stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Score: 42

I realized that whacking off helps me fall asleep much faster This whole time the cure for insomnia was within my grasp

Score: 37

If you're suffering from insomnia, look on the bright side Only 3 more sleeps until Christmas

Score: 37

I went to see my doctor about my insomnia. Not sure he appreciated me knocking on his door at 3AM.

Score: 35

I was diagnosed with insomnia and it’s made me quite sad. But ok the upside, only three more sleeps until Christmas!

Score: 31

I will not sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia.

Score: 30

Insomnia is no joke.. It's so serious, people are losing sleep over it.

Score: 28

Russian pharmacy Doctor: This medicine is from insomnia, this one is from nervous break-down, and also take this one from depression.

Patient: Thank you very much, doctor, but do you have any other medicine besides vodka?

Score: 27

What does a dyslexic atheist with insomnia do with their time? They stay up late at night wondering if there is a Dog.

Score: 25

I’ve dedicated my life to finding a cure for insomnia. And I won’t rest until I find it.

Score: 23

I stayed up all night last night trying to remember.... the difference between insomnia and amnesia.

Score: 23

An Insomniac once told me..... I will not rest until I find a cure for my insomnia.

Score: 22

There's one good thing about suffering from insomnia 3 more sleeps 'til Christmas!

Score: 18

Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.

Score: 13

What's the best thing about having insomnia? Only one nights sleep til Christmas!

Score: 12

Insomnia is horrendous to live with ... But on the plus side, only two more sleeps until Christmas

Score: 11

I stopped complaining about my insomnia when I found out most of my relatives died in their sleep.

Score: 11

I didn’t get any sleep last night... because I was trying to remember if I had amnesia or insomnia.

Score: 8

I suffer from terrible insomnia But on the bright side it's only three more sleeps till Christmas.

Score: 7

What idiot called it.... What idiot called it "insomnia" and not "resisting a rest"

Score: 7

People keep telling me im unlucky to have Insomnia but the jokes on them... only 2 more sleeps till Christmas!

Score: 7

I stayed up all night... Trying to remember if I had amnesia or insomnia

Score: 6

I once picked up a book to solve insomnia. It was a pretty heavy read. So I pulled an all nighter.

Score: 5

Why are people who suffers from insomnia so excited at the moment? They only have to sleep 3 more times until Christmas

Score: 4

Best remedy for insomnia Imagine, that it's morning already. You have to get up and leave for work.

Score: 2

Insomnia is awful But on the plus side, only three sleeps until Christmas!

Score: 2

Insomnia is awful... ...But on the plus side, only three more sleeps until Christmas.

Score: 1

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