There's this new cryptocurrency called Decibel. You just yell in your microphone to get money... It's a sound investment.
I bought some new speakers today...... I think I made a sound investment.
My wife said wasting what little money we have on a lock picking set was not a good investment. But it’s actually opened a lot of doors for me.
I bought some Bose stocks today. It was a sound investment.
Why is ink an unwise investment?
Because it's a dyeing industry.
- This is too obvious a joke to be original, but it came to me during my econ class, and so it's original to me!
Took my brother to the aquarium and threw him in the shark tank
He came back out with a $500,000 investment
(I know this is absolutely not funny but it came to me in a dream)
Me: I can’t believe it increased by 1500%.
Professor: I’m sick of hearing about BITCOIN! Nothing can increase by that much and still be a good investment.
Me: I was talking about the price of college tuition since 1980...
I recently bought shares in BOSE So far it seems to be a sound investment
Sad Husband A depressed husband said to his wife: “ You are my only investment that has doubled.”
You should always buy very high end speakers It's a sound investment
Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts? Offshore investment gains a better return.
I wanted to be an investment banker when I grew up Then I lost interest.
My town has a large epilepsy hospital
Today, I wanted to do something nice for the kids: they’re always so sad about not being able to do normal things. It was a $1200 investment for all of them total, but...
Who’s ready for laser tag!?
What do you call an investment partnership run by friendly Swedes? a Hej Fund
A banker tells his client that a £1,000,000 investment will turn into a ton of money!
So the the client asks "How much is a ton of money"
The banker responds "Two Thousand Pounds"
Why did the investment bankers start dating? Compound interest
Why is top-shelf beef such a risky investment? Because the steaks are so high.
Dracula says he doesn't want to become an investment banker.. He said he hates stakeholders.
Why is a skateboard a good investment? Because you can flip it.
Investment question
If a leopard and a cheetah both had companies, which stock should you buy?
A: The leopard's, because cheetahs never prosper.
what do you call a young woman dating an older rich man? Investment
What's the biggest difference between men and investment bonds? Bonds mature.
Henry Winkler committed investment fraud It was a Fonzie scheme
I thought about going into investment banking Then I lost interest.
What type of investment do chemists prefer? They have an affinity for bonds.
A Russian spy ship was spotted off the U.S coast... But don't worry - they're just keeping an eye on their investment
The loan officer approved my plan to go forward and take out a mortgage for the horse farm I've been looking at. He called it a stable investment.
What is the most ridiculous and funniest investment scheme ever? A Punzi scheme.
Historically as a big corporation the best investment we've made is in our people. Unfortunately we lost alot of money when this investment was outlawed.
I’ve invented a machine that sprays ketchup over large groups of people but I need financial investment to get the business up and running. I will be crowd saucing.
What was the investment broker doing sneaking around the cider mill? He was looking for in-cider information.