A Texan says to a Harvard student...
Texan: where are ya from?
Harvard Student: well, where *i'm* from, we don't end sentences with prepositions.
Texan: oh, alright. where are ya from, jackass?
What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant woman have in common? Some jackass forgot to take it out in time.
A Texan meets a Havard grad. Curious, he asks:
Texan: “Where are you from?”
Harvard grad: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.”
Texan: “Okay – where are you from, jackass?”
A successful woman needs four animals in her life... A jaguar in her garage, a mink in her closet, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass to pay for all of the above.
Every woman should have four pets... A mink in her closet, a Jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed...and a Jackass to pay for all of it
How do you keep a jackass in suspense? I’ll tell you tomorrow.
I called my brother a “jackass” for stealing government property from a public park. He took a fence.
Texan: “Where are you from?”
*Harvard graduate: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.”*
*Texan: “OK, where are you from, jackass?”*
What's the difference between the show Jackass and CNN news? Suits
I guess having tinted windows makes you a jackass. No one waves at me anymore.
I hated Shrek Eddie Murphy was just a real jackass
i called my daughter, Jacqueline, a jackass. She responded, "I'm a jacklinass, thank you very much!"
My spiritual animal is Eeyore I'm a depressed jackass
My tailor is an indecisive jackass.
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He hems and hee-haws.
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\--original as far as I know, FWIW
I told my boss that I wanted a raise.
The boss, like a jackass, replied, "How much of a raise do you need to get the job done?"
"About five gallons of gasoline," I replied.
Texan: "Where are you from?"
Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end sentences with prepositions."
Texan: "Okay— where are you from, jackass?"