I heard the kid who fell into the gorilla pit was actually trying to get the jewelry his mother dropped. He didn't get the gold but he got the silver back.
Wife : Honey before we got married , you used to give me gifts and expensive jewelry.
Husband : Yes…so ?
Wife : How come you don’t do it anymore ?
Husband : Have you ever seen a fisherman give worms to the fish after catching it?
People who rob jewelry stores and banks are pretty bad. But people who rob bakeries really take the cake.
I was walking down a street in Hollywood and ran into a celebrity with a Mohawk and jewelry. He looked at me and said, “I piy the fool!” I said, “Hey, you missed a T!”
Wife: "In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring." Husband: "I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill."
What type of jewelry does the Easter Bunny wear? 24 carrot
Apparently there’s a new trend where men have been putting jewelry on their testicles I’ve heard they’re pretty nuts
Black Joke
Why do black people have nice clothes, expensive jewelry, and drive fancy cars with rims but live in crappy houses/apartments?
-They haven't figured out how to steal houses yet.
My wife is complaining that I never buy her jewelry... In my defense, I didn't even know she sold jewelry.
A man calls the police station to report a house robbery
Man: an Asian man just broke into my house and took my wife's jewelry!
Operator: how do you know he is Asian?
Man: he's still trying to back out of my driveway!
I always thought that once you find true love, no-one in this world can stop you from getting close to your desire. But those guards at the Jewelry exhibition think differently.
My girlfriend said she liked the jewelry my grandmother wore so I bought her a life alert necklace
While married to Rose, we acquired house, cars, jewelry, retirement accounts. And with the divorce,
everything is coming up *ROSE's*!!
I have no idea how my first submission of this came to be flaired "Religion"... so I deleted it.
what a dream!!
Wife: "In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring."
Husband: "I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill."
How does Mike Wazowski make such good neck jewelry? Because he’s neckless
A rich philanthropist decides to give some jewelry to a homeless woman on the street, named Edith. Edith: thanks for the gold!
What does a rich guy from Israel wear? Jewelry.
Fired the maid yesterday because wife suspected maid had been stealing her jewelry. Today I found a snake on our doorstep. At least we got a diamondback.
I realized while seeing old photos that Hitlers wife never used to wear any jewelry. It's because Hitler didn't like JEWelry..
What happens when musician Gene Simmons opens up a jewelry shop inspired by his Israeli heritage? Family Jew-els :)
Whenever I see a sign saying Fine Jewelry I think to myself, it's probably had enough warnings, why not just arrest it.
Where does Mike Ditka buy his jewelry? De Beers
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
I don't like black and white jewelry. I feel like it's panda ring.
What's the cheapest item of jewelry? A pearl necklace
What's a car's favorite piece of jewelry? Its engine earring.
"THE DREAM OF JEWELRY "
Wife: "In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring."
Husband: "I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill."
What did the robbers do with 6ix9ines stolen money and jewelry? They split it TREYWAY.
Why is Jewelry so expensive? Because Hitler killed so many jewelers it became an almost extinct business.
I know people really like Chinese Bears and jewelry, so I was gonna make a joke about them... But that would be panda ring.