Two FBI agents search an office and find a hard drive with "KGB" on it... One of the agents asks the other, "Why didn't they just write '1 TB' instead?"
In Russia, we have only two TV channels; Channel one is Soviet propaganda... Channel two is KGB agent telling you to go back to channel one.
How can you tell which Russian olympic spectators are actually KGB agents? The ones with food.
Ancient Soviet joke Guy turns on the TV and there's Brezhnev making a speech. He changes the channel, there's Brezhnev again, and tries again and on the next channel is a KGB officer saying - 'You'd better stop changing channels'.
Q. "Why do the KGB operate in groups of three?" A. "One can read, one can write and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals."
Why do Stalinist KGB Agents travel in groups of three? One to read, one to write, and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.
Why do KGB agents make such good taxi drivers? You get in and they already know your name and where you live.
My uncle spoke of his time in Soviet Russia back in the day He said there were only 2 channels on TV. He said Channel 1 was propaganda, and channel 2 was a KGB pointing a Kalashnikov at the screen saying "Turn back to channel 1!"
Why does Putin's laptop have 1 TB of RAM? KGB
What happened to the dead KGB agent? Nothing. He just fell off the balcony.
In Soviet Russia there are only two Tv channels. Channel one is propaganda. Channel two is KGB agent telling you to go back to channel one.
During Soviet times, the USSR had two TV channels
On the first one, there was propaganda.
On the second one, a KGB agent appeared and said "Switch back to the first channel".
A knock knock joke I heard recently.
Knock Knock
Who's There?
KGB.
KGB Wh-.
*SLAP* We will azk ze qvestionz.
knock knock
"Who's there?"
"KGB."
"KGB wh--"
[slap recipient of the joke] "Vee vill ask za questions!"
Knock Knock
*Who's there
*The Kgb
*The kgb who?
*(Slaps person) we will ask the questions.
"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"KGB"
"KGB who?"
*slap* "We will ask questions!"
If you know this one than we are probably friends.
* Man 1: Knock Knock.
* Man 2: Who’s there?
* Man 1: KGB.
* Man 2: KGB wh- *get’s slapped*
* Man 1: WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!
How do KGB agents commit suicide? Two bullets to the back of the head.
The Russian election system Where citizens choose between Vladimir Putin or a KGB firing squad.
Why did so many KGB officers become cab drivers after the fall of the USSR? It was very practical! You just had to tell them your name and they already knew your address.
TIL that Vladimir Putin, Russia's President, was a KGB officer for 16 years... He was the crème de la Kremlin
What do Marie Curies Notebooks and a defected KGB agent have in common? They both won’t be investigated very closely.
The KGB's code name for Trump has been revealed. Agent Orange
What was the tallest building in the Soviet Union? KGB Headquarters. You could see Siberia from the basement.
A soviet KGB member was talking to his friend.
He says, "How are you doing?"
The friend replies, "Can't complain!"
Q: Why do KGB agents operate in groups of three? A: One can read, one can write, and the third keeps an eye on those two intellectuals.
Knock knock
Who is there?
KGB
KG (slap person)
We will ask the question
Two Russian kgb operatives are also in a tank One turns to the other and says "gurgle gurgle" and they both drown...
A teacher from Russia tells a joke to the freshmen class.
She goes
"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"It's the KGB." *slap* "WE ASK THE QUESTIONS!"
A girl in the back row raises her hand.
"What's a KGB?"
KGB Agents
Two KGB Agents talk:
- What happened to him?
- He ate bad mushrooms
- Why are there beating marks on the body?
- He didn't want to eat them
Did you know that the KGB never killed anyone Its true. They commited suicide from 2 gunshots to the back of the head