Lawn Mower Jokes

Just saw a man slumped over a lawn mower crying his eyes out. He said he’ll be fine, he’s just going through a rough patch.

Score: 1616

I just saw a man slumped over a lawn mower crying his eyes out. he's just going through a rough patch!

Score: 44

My son saw me slumped over our lawn mower, bawling my eyes out... He screamed, "Dad! What's wrong!? Are you ok?!"

I said, "Don't worry son, I'll be fine. I was just going through a rough patch..."

Score: 20
Funny Lawn Mower Jokes
Score: 16

Why did the frog jump under the lawn mower? He wanted to Kermit suicide.

Score: 14

I bought a new lawn mower for my landscaping company Mine just wasn't cutting it.


I'm sorry

Score: 10

Anyone can use my lawn mower at any time Given that they don't leave my yard

Score: 9

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear with a lawn mower? Killed.

Score: 9

What do you call a lawn mower that operates on its own? Cutting-hedge technology

Score: 8

What did the monkey say when he got his tail caught in the lawn mower? It won't be long now.

Score: 6

What do you call a blue bird who’s got run over by a lawn mower? Shredded tweet



I’ll show myself out

Score: 6

I just saw a man slumped over his lawn mower crying his eyes out. He told me he’ll me fine. He’s just going through a rough patch.

Score: 4

If a teacup holds tea and a coffee cup holds coffee then what does a peecup hold? Three Mexicans, a lawn mower, two leaf blowers and a half dozen rakes will fit in a peecup (pickup with Spanish accent).

Score: 4

I had to buy a new lawn mower today... Trump departed my old one. I will miss you Jose.

Score: 3

How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odours, and half the time they don't work.

Score: 3

What do you get when you cross a bird with a lawn mower? Shredded tweet.

Score: 3

A buddy had a lawn mower accident and died after getting the ends of his feet cut off. Doctors diagnosed him as lack-toes intolerant

Score: 2

Why did the redneck take his cat to Walmart after running over it's tail with the lawn mower? Because they're the largest re-tail-er

Score: 2

Who makes more money? A lawn mower or a fisherman? The lawnmower... he gets grass income while the fisherman gets net income

Score: 2

How does a vegan shave their pubes? With a lawn mower.

Score: 2

Just seen a man slumped over a lawn mower crying his eyes out. He said he'll be fine he's just going through a rough patch

Score: 1

Why was the lawn mower kicked out of training? Unfortunately he didn't make the cut.

Score: 1

What happened to the ice cream cone that got ran over by a lawn mower? it was a la mowed

Score: 1

What do you call a lawn mower that lets you mow grass at an angle? A protractor.

Score: 1

I love my lawn mower No Home-mow.

Score: 1

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