When I was a kid, I had a lemonade stand. I'd give away the first glass for free and charge $20 for the second. The refill contained the antidote.
If life gives you lemons...
I hope ~~he~~ life also gives you water and sugar or else your lemonade's gonna suck.
EDIT: Made sure life's gender was no longer assumed.
Sick Lemon and Sick Bird
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemonade
A bear walks into a bar.. A bear walks into a bar and asks the barman for "One Corona, two margaritas and.........a lemonade". The barman replies "Sure, but why the big pause?". The bear looks down and says "That's the way I am".
If life gives you lemons...
Make lemonade
If life gives you melons...
You might be dyslexic.
What do you call assistants that help citrus fruit? Lemonade.
Ok, so lets share our Christmas cracker jokes. Mine was awful. A bottle of lemonade fell on a barmans head. Why wasn't he hurt? It was a soft drink.
Did you head about the rabbi who only drank lemonade? He's an acidic Jew....
The next person The next person that asks me for a pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade and a slice of orange in the same cup is gonna get a punch.
A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man, running the stand "Quack"
Why don't Orthodox Jews drink lemonade? Its a little too Hasidic for them.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade; when life gives you apples, make physics equations F=ma
Lemonade Stand At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
Why did Hitler hate lemonade? Because it is an acidic juice.
When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. When life gives you melons, you’re dyslexic.
I gave this lady a sip of my lemonade last night and she fell in love with me. I schwepped her off her feet. :)
If life gives you lemons make lemonade... If life gives you melons your dyslexic.
What does Batman have in his lemonade? Just ice.
I gave my crush a glass of lemonade yesterday, and she seemed to instantly fall in love with me. I think I schwepped her right off her feet.
What's the name for the emergency service for lemons? Lemonade
If the musicians, Ice T and Lemonade formed a band, what would it be called? Arnold Palmer
What's the most profitable part of owning a lemonade stand? Selling the antidote.
What do you call a helpful lemon? Lemonade
When life hands you lemons.....Make lemonade Then, find someone for whom life has handed them Vodka....
A boy was at a lemonade stand. He was deciding between a glass or a full pitcher. He told the seller he was really thirsty, to which they replied, "Take a pitcher, it'll last longer".
What did Jay-Z say when Beyonce released Lemonade? I got 100 problems.
A lemonade was only given 60 seconds to clean her house She hired a minute maid
What do you call an unsweetened, kosher lemonade? acidic juice
A philosopher and a political scientist are drinking lemonade on a porch in a nudist colony. The philosopher says, "I suppose you've read Marx?" The political scientist replies, "Yes! It's these darn wicker chairs!"
How does Michael Rosen like his lemonade? No ice.
What do you call tea and lemonade? It depends... Just tea and lemonade is called an Arnold Palmer. If you add vodka to it, then it's called John Daly. If you drink too many John Dalys and get pulled over, it's called a Tiger Woods.
Ive fallen madly in love with a lemonade salesman. I've been Schwepped off my feet
So, a corpse walks into a bar...
"Can I have a lemonade?" He asks the bartender.
The bartender says "Sure, I've never seen a stiff drink."