Lent Jokes

I lent my umbrella to a hot girl yesterday. That takes the number of girls i've made wet this year to -1

Score: 18204
Funny Lent Jokes
Score: 2372

I lent my umbrella to a hot girl yesterday. That takes the number of girls I’ve made wet this year to -1.

Score: 1283

Next year I'll give up spreadsheets for 40 days and 40 nights... It's going to be Excel Lent

Score: 411

You know who's not giving anything up for lent? Rick Astley.

Score: 119

I lent a girl an umbrella yesterday Which takes the total number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.

Score: 63

I'm giving up negativity for lent. We'll see how long that lasts.

Edit: aware it should be pessimism. This is a serious quote from a friend who didn't realise what she'd said.

Score: 61

If Wilson lent Tom Hanks $20... Tom Hanks would be Owen Wilson.

Score: 46

I lent a hot girl my umbrella while it was raining That takes the amount of girls I've made wet to -1

Score: 44

My mate lent me $5,000 to produce my idea of a fruit-based torch, then took all credit. He stole my limelight.

Score: 32

When my granddad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I can still remember the very first thing I said to him. “Have you got that five grand I lent you?”

Score: 24

What is the Catholic Church giving up for Lent? Answer: The Pope!

Score: 21

I lent a girl an umbrella that makes the people I've made wet this year -1

Score: 17

Mike Tyson had something to tell me... So I lent him an ear.

Score: 14

I lent a friend of mine $10,000 for plastic surgery Now I don’t know what he looks like.

Score: 13

I lent my umbrella to a hot girl yesterday And that brings the number of girls I’ve made wet this year to a solid -1

Score: 13

I lent an umbrella to girl yesterday. It makes the total number of girls I have made wet this year to -1.

Score: 13

Carl drives a stick **Andy:** Carl, why was the clutch in my car broken after i lent it to you?

**Carl:** Well don't you look at me, i didn't even touch the thing!

Score: 11

What did Harry say to Hermione when she lent him a galleon? Thanks for the gold kind Granger!

Score: 11

The saying “never lend your books, you’ll never get them back” is true I know this because my library is full of books that other folks have lent me

Score: 8

I lent an umbrella to a hot girl today That makes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1

Score: 7

I just want to thank the guy who lent me his dictionary to look for the meaning of the word plethora... It means a lot

Score: 7

I lent my umbrella to a hot girl today That brings the total number of girls I’ve made wet this year to -1!

Score: 7

I'm giving up spreadsheets for 40 days. Excel-lent

Score: 6

I’ve made a spreadsheet of all the things I’ll give up for Easter. It’s excel lent.

Score: 6

Did you hear what the Pope was giving up for lent? His job.

Score: 5

Lent My wife gave up intercourse for lent. I wish she would have told me. I might have joined her.

Score: 5

I lent a hot girl my umbrella That makes the number of girls I've made wet this year -1

Score: 5

I lent my umbrella to a hot girl yesterday. This takes the number of girls that I have made wet this year to -1.

Score: 5

When is the best time to run a marathon? During Lent. That's when you fast.

Score: 5

I lent my umbrella to a girl yesterday... That makes the number of girls I got wet this year -1.

Score: 2

I'm giving up abbreviations for Lent. Laugh Out Loud

Score: 2

I don't know if you know this, but I was raised catholic... I just gave it up for lent.

Score: 2

I know what I'm giving up for Valentine's Day! Lent

Score: 1

In observance of Lent this year, I am giving up spectator sports, concerts or any large gatherings... And for all my future Lents, I am giving up on retirement.

Score: 0

Popular Topics