Lice Jokes

Lice have become resistant to most conventional treatments. Scientists are scratching their heads.

Score: 120

I've been researching some useless facts... Want some examples?
I have found out that there are over 10,000 different types of lice.

And that's just off the top of my head.

Score: 75

I'm very good at remembering random facts. For example, there are 3,500 different types of lice.

And that's just off the top of my head.

Score: 47

If the plural or mouse is mice, and the plural of louse is lice... What does it really mean if my spouse wants to spice things up?

Score: 26

A recent study was released on head lice stating that 95% of lice populations are resistant to treatment. Scientists are scratching their heads trying to figure out how this happened.

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Hey girl, are you lice? Because you can’t get out of my head

Score: 13

They've discovered a new strain of head lice, but they haven't found a cure yet It's got scientists scratching their heads.

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Lice have become resistant to most conventional forms of treatment Scientists are scratching their heads.

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What kind of parasites do gangstas get? Thug Lice.

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What do we call a lice above a bald person? Homeless.

Score: 5

I was convinced all last week that I had lice, but it ended up being all in my head. It was a pretty lousey week!

Score: 4

Can beards get dandruff? Or does my girlfriend have pubic lice?

Score: 4
Funny Lice Jokes
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Where do the lower income lice live? Pubic housing

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What do you call a bald man’s lice? Homeless

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My (black) coworkers informed me that black people can't get lice? "You know what else they can't get? Good jobs." I received a write-up :(

Score: 2

I don't mind head lice, unless I have to take them out of people's hair. But that's just me nitpicking.

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Spent two hours debugging my Python... Turns out that pubic lice are difficult to get rid of.

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Did you hear about the wrestler who had a really itchy head? Those lice were really living on the Edge

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Alice Jonny: Teacher, Alice gets in my hair again. This has to stop!

Teacher (shakes head): A louse, many lice.

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A new strain of head lice is going around which is resistant to conventional treatments That has left scientists scratching their heads

Score: 2

I came up with a good lice joke just now... ... right off the top of my head.

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A new strain of head lice is going around, which is resistant to all conventional treatments. This has left scientists scratching their heads.

Score: 2

Lice Technicians who work with substandard tools... Do their poor working conditions leave them scratching their heads?

Score: 1

Dave: I got a very nasty reaction to the pubic lice lotion you prescribed me Dave: I got a very nasty reaction to the pubic lice lotion you prescribed me

Dr: Where exactly did you apply it?

Dave: On the train...

Dr: ...

Score: 1

When you have a bunch of white bugs in your hair, it’s called lice. What’s it called when you have just one? Lonely.

Score: 1

Asian stereotype joke An Asian man walks up to a fast food restaurant for takeout.
He says "Flied lice please."
He leaves but comes back a minute later
"This is fried rice, I ordered flied lice."

Score: 1

There has been 45,000 cases of head lice reported in the last 24 hours across the Midwest Researchers are scratching their heads over that one.

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What do you call a dog with lice in China? Full course dinner

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