Little Timmy drowned the other day. He was buried in a lifejacket. It's what he would have wanted.
Little Timmy asks his friend " Does your family pray before dinner?" His friend replies "No, my mom knows how to cook"
Ms. Smith told little Timmy... Little Timmy was making strange and contorted faces. Ms. Smith came up to him and told him she was told not to make funny faces or else it would stay like that. Little Timmy replied, "Well you were warned"
Little Timmy goes up to Grandpa O’Malley and says...
“Can I have 5 bucks for a guinea pig?”
Grandpa O’Malley says “here’s 10 bucks, go get yourself a nice Irish girl instead.
Little Timmy is asked by his teacher " Timmy how do you spell school?"
Timmy responds " S K O O L ".....
The teacher says " that is not correct . It's spelled S C H O O L ". ......
Little Timmy replies " Well , you asked how I spelled it"
Little Timmy wasn't the most gifted student in the class.
One day his teacher asked him to write a paragraph using the following words:
Defense
Defeat
Detail
This is what Timmy wrote -- The horse jumped over defense. First defeat. Then detail.
Grandpa: what has 4 legs but isn’t alive?
Little Timmy: haha it’s a chair nice try gra-
Grandpa:it’s your dog Timmy he’s dead
why did little timmy drop his icecream? He was hit by a bus
Where did little Timmy go during the bombing? Everywhere
Why does little Timmy keep throwing up gang signs? Because he ate too much of them.
Why did little timmy have no dignity? Because I took it.
Little Timmy liked to experiment... but little Timmy is no more, because what he thought was H^(2)O was H^(2)SO^(4).
What did little Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.
Little Timmy was jealous of his little brother who drank all of mom's breastmilk. So he poisoned it to kill his brother. The next was really sad for him as his dad died.
Never lie! Said Mommy to little Timmy and handed him over to Santa.
Chemist joke.. Little timmy took a drink but he will drink no more because what he thought was H2O was H2SO4..
John Cena is contacted yet again by Make A Wish
It seems little Timmy is about to f-ing die. His last wish is to meet John Cena. John hurries to the hospital.
John Cena: Where is little Timmy?
Nurse: ICU.
John Cena: YOU CAN'T SEE ME!
Little Timmy is being quizzed by his dad and he gets spanked every time he gets a question wrong.
Dad: Where are lipids synthesized?
Timmy: RoughER, Dad
Little timmy couldn't focus on his lessons Even though he lived in the concentration camp.
Why did the bus driver drop his coffee?
Because he hit a bump in the road.
What was the bump in the road?
Little Timmy.