I asked a girl to come back to my place and as she was looking through my books...
She asked, "How come you've got so many copies of 'War and Peace'?"
I replied, "It's a long story..."
Today a fortune cookie told me that every exit is an entrance Long story short, my girlfriend said no.
I was at the gym the other night, I found a hole in my trainer big enough to put my finger in. Long story short, she filed a complaint and I'm banned for life.
I just recently decided to get a toilet brush. Long story short, I'm going back to toilet paper.
Gf tells me "to make love like to me like they do in the movies".. Long story short..Im due in court soon. Guess we don't watch the same kind of movies.
I came walking in from the kitchen, and asked my niece for the phone book.
She laughed and called me an antique, then proceeded to give me her phone.
Long story short, the spider's dead, and she's in the living room crying.
I often act out the names of places that I visit.
For example, when I went to Poole, I went swimming. When I went to Rugby, I played rugby. When I went to Bath, I took a bath.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, I need bailing out of Blackburn police station.
Fortune cookie: "Every exit can be an entry"
Long story short:
My girlfriens said no...
Did you know that my alcoholic friend only weighs two pounds? Long story short, my bud light.
I fell in love with a cucumber farmer.
We had many good years together but then, as these things do, it turned sour.
Long story short: I'm in a bit of a pickle.
I knew a guy who had his left arm and left leg cut off... To cut a long story short I’m in jail and he is dead
I asked my dad how I was born
Me: Dad, how was I born ?
Dad: It's a really long story
Me: (all excited) Tell me..I wana hear it
Dad: Once upon a time, it was a cold night and all the pharmacies were closed....
I bumped into an old school friend today
He was going on and on about how expensive his new car was.
So long story short my insurance rates are going up.
Need help finding a joke. The question is ' What happens at the police station at closing time? ', And I believe the joke is physics related. Its a long story to explain why I need the punchline, but my physics teacher asked me to find it.
A clown just held the door for me... ...Long story short, I thought it was a nice jester.
A man goes to a farm to purchase the most pregnant looking goat Long story short that kids is how I met your mother
I bought a new toilet brush the other day... Long story short, I'm going back to toilet paper.
To make a long story short, Make it feel insecure about itself.
I spent last night shouting at my psychiatrist Long story short he's convinced I have delusions of being a pony... I'd tell you more, but I'm a little hoarse.
I think my friend's new bowl is really a colander He told me a long story about how he uses it for mixing, but it doesn't hold water.
Graduation unlike before 2 Asian kids graduated from High School. The school had never witnessed this phenomena, but both of them were #1 in their class. Long story short the parents couldn't be happier....it was a Nguyen, Nguyen for them.
Dave worked at a circus school...
Normally, he teaches kids how to juggle or do cartwheels but it wasn't all that interesting.
One day, he decides to teach the kids something a bit more exciting so he brought in a cannon.
Long story short - he was fired.
I got sent to court over a missing tuxedo Long story short, I lost the lawsuit as well
My cousin decided to try parkour, so he jumped off a single floor hotel. Anyway, to make a long story short would've helped. Funeral's Thursday.
Have you heard the one about The Lord Of The Rings? It's a long story.
I was having a quick rest at the gym last night when i noticed a hole in my trainer just big enough to fit my finger in, to cut a long story short, she complained and now I have to find another gym.
Long story short... Frodo does it
I was on a date last night, as I sat at my table, forking my food awaiting my date to arrive, I realized they had stood me up, and I had to foot the bill. Long story short...... Don't ever date a leg
There's a long long story I want to share. Going to the toilet with nothing in my hand, even a piece of paper.
In need of some good knock knock jokes Long story short, bringing a door to my friends party, what are some sweet knock knock jokes I can pull?
I'd tell you about that time I read all of War and Peace, but... It's a long story.
My girlfriend was hinting about what she wanted for her up and coming birthday
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0-150 in less than 5 seconds."
So I bought her a bathroom scale.
Long story short, she's no longer my girlfriend.
Long story Short, we did it.
My cousin decided to try parkour, so he jumped off the roof of a one-floor building. To make a long story short... ...definitely would've helped. Funeral's Thursday.