A woman asked me if I thought she was wearing to much makeup. I told her it depends on whether or not she was trying to kill Batman.
Why so serious?
A lady asked me if I thought she was wearing to much makeup.
I told her it depends ...
on whether she was trying to kill Batman or not.
My wife doesn't need makeup to look beautiful. She needs a team of surgeons.
What do you call a bee that can't makeup it's mind? A maybe.
My Girlfriend wants to put on her makeup.
Me: You don't need makeup.
GF: Aww thanks
Me: You need plastic surgery
She: "Wait for me darling, I just do my makeup...."
He: "Oh, you don't need makeup."
She: "How nice, you are so sweet."
He: "You need plastic surgery."
My girlfriend isn't just beautiful on the outside, but on the inside as well. She must have a great genetic makeup.
Testing makeup on animals is WRONG... They are cute enough already.
As I watched an ongoing fued between two YouTube makeup influencers I couldnt help but wonder... Was this because their relationship was based on a bad foundation?
Why did the blonde have makeup on her forehead?
I told her to make up her mind.
* **EDIT*** Thanks to **diosmuerteborracho** for the suggestion
* Why did the blonde have lipstick on her forehead?
* I told her to make up her mind.
iPhone X has face recognition... so girls aren't gonna be able to unlock their phones when they take their makeup off
What's China's favorite makeup to wear? Concealer.
What happens every time Gene Simmons gets in a fight with his band mates? They Kiss and makeup
What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump? Trump wears more makeup.
As the YouTube makeup influencers feuded with each other i couldn't help but wonder... Had their relationship been built using a bad *foundation?*
Brain surgeons have started applying blush to the frontal lobe... The procedure is for anyone who needs to makeup their mind.
What kind of makeup does a sad clown wear? Frowndation.
I saw that my wife’s eye makeup smeared all around when she woke up this morning. I couldn’t even raccoon-eyes her.
Browser History: Man vs. Woman
Woman's Browser History:
Pintrest
Pintrest
Pintrest
Makeup Tutorial
Makeup Tutorial
Makeup Tutorial
Makeup Tutorial
Shoes
Shoes
Shoes
Man's Browser History:
-
Courtesy of my 8 year old: Why did the lipstick, eyeliner, and foundation keep fighting each other? Because they could never makeup!
"Dad, why did you put lipstick on your head?" "Because your mother told me to makeup my mind"
Did you hear about the shooting at the Dyslexic makeup factory? It was a total mascara.
How can Rihanna tell when Chris Brown's cheating on her? The brand of makeup on his knuckle isn't hers.
When my wife was putting on her makeup, I told her that she had put too much arch in her eyebrows. She looked surprised.
My girlfriend looks just like her mother when she does her makeup the right way I could make myself look like my dad, but I don't have any vanishing cream
What's a spooky ghost's favourite makeup
Ma-SCARE-ya
*^I'll ^show ^myself ^out.*
Netflix and Disney should just join forces to create the most controversial movie ever: a young girl becomes infatuated with makeup and skimpy outfits, but first she must save China from the threat of the Uighur. Call it *Mulan Rouge*
My friends all call me a chick magnet. However due to my lack of ferromagnetic material in my chemical makeup I can can’t seem to think of what repels all these girls.
I once made a man blush But apparently "guys don't wear makeup."
Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.
I saw a transvestite that looked EXACTLY like Gwen Stefani... with the hair, lashes, makeup, skinny pants, heels, the whole nine. I was like, "Don't speak"
How do You Tell if a Woman is a Feminist If the boring clothes, weight problem, lack of makeup or angry demeanour doesn't give it away, she'll tell you within 2 minutes.
What type of EMTs will touch up your makeup on the way to the hospital? Cos-medics
Why did the tub of makeup stick to the roof? It wanted to be con ceiling.
Maybelline's New "24K Nudes" makeup line When the ad plays at parties, the guys don't care until they say "24k nudes"
My friend Howard broke up with his girlfriend. I asked her to makeup with him. She said she didn't know How.
Brain surgeons have started applying blush to the frontal lobe... It's for anyone who needs to makeup their mind.