Mule Jokes

Riding a horse can be difficult. You could always choose to ride a mule instead... but that would be half-assed.

Score: 36
Funny Mule Jokes
Score: 14

I like my women like I like my coffee... Tied up in a sack and thrown over the back of a Columbian mule.

Score: 9

I like my women the way I like my coffee Tied up in a burlap sack and slung over the back of Juan Valdez's mule.

Score: 5

TIL there is a cocktail named after Donald Trump Moscow Mule

Score: 5

My wife and I were talking about our physical relationship. "I wish you were more of a lion," she said.

"A lion? Why?" I asked.

She said, "They are masculine and aggressive."

"I wish you were more of a mule," I said.

"A mule? Why?" she asked.

I said, "They can't reproduce."

Score: 4

My mule is pretty lazy... ... Always doing half-assed work.

Score: 3

A timid friend of mine was arrested at the border for being a drug mule. I didn't know he had it in him.

Score: 3

What do you call a horse that's always doing things half-assed? A mule

Score: 3

I ordered a horse from a rancher, but got a mule. Seems he half-assed it...

Score: 2

What is Mexico's National Animal? The drug mule.

Score: 2

An odd look... Came to the counter of the pharmacy with a box if condoms... Person ringing me up gave me a quick odd look.... I caught it and said "oh, it's not what you think... I'm a drug mule"

Score: 2

A mule walks in to a bar... And sits down. The bartender sees him and says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!!"

The mule says "You have a drink named Larry?"

Score: 2

A battery, a mule, and a fish walk into a bar. The mule orders a beer. "I'm off the wagon," he explains.

The battery orders a juice. "AA all the way," it says.

"And for you, sir?" The bartender asks the fish. "Water," it croaks, and collapses.

Score: 2

The baby is kicking like a mule So I decided my wife can no longer own that pet donkey of hers

Score: 2

So, a Trump voter walks into a bar... ...and sits down right in front of the bartender. The bartender glances up at his hat and goes, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

"What, you have a drink named Dave?"

"No, you idiot, I was talking about a Moscow mule."

Score: 2

What do you get when you cross a Sith Lord, and a Donkey? Darth Mule!

A joke, from third grade me...
Happy Star Wars day!

Score: 1

I ordered a horse from a rancher, but got a mule. Seems he just half-assed it.

Score: 1

Why was the horse always mad at the mule? It kept half-assing everything.

Score: 1

What do you call a Caucasian mule? You guessed it, a honky donkey...

Score: 1

What do you get for breeding a donkey and a mule A monkey

Score: 1

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